Black mails…

EBM – Is my abbreviation for emotional black mail. What power does EBM have on all of us? Immense is the answer. We Indians are probably the most emotional breed on this planet and it does not take much to bring out the best and worst of our emotive qualities in ourselves and in each other. EBM is a wee bit more dangerous than the regular BM as it is not as transparent as BM and neither do we get a telephone call from a black mailer demanding ransom. EBM happens slyly and surely, as crafty as a hawk , as conniving as a fox and as slippery as an eel.

Our netas practice this on the electorate pre and post elections. ” If you do not vote for us, we cannot guarantee you 24 hours of water supply” they say. And what does the hapless electorate do, they buy the lie and have a parched throat post elections. Let’s forget the netas, they are a known lying breed, what about our own kith and kin and friends and acquaintances. Mothers practice this with their  doting sons ” If you do not marry the girl of my choice, I shall not live for long” they exclaim dramatically. It does not take much for mothers to transform into a Nirupa Roy in haste and put a collar on a restraining son who is vying for freedom. The gibberish talk of the brave son happens only with his girl and the mirror, he succumbs to his Mother’s threat like a two-year old. Father’s do the same with daughters and how many daughters have converted countless men into Devdas.Money is a big catalyst that spirals the emotions out of control in all souls. Father’s use this as a weapon to leash another restraining son. ” If you do not listen to me, I shall cut you off my will” is a regular threat. The son succumbs to the golden goose without a whimper. There is no David Dhawan movie ending here, with Kadhar Khan Daddys allowing the sons to dance into twilight zone.Sad.

Every step of our fast paced lives we are blackmailed into doing things. Every second there are threatening demands and calls. BM is practised on us by nameless, faceless people too. Who said we are free birds, we are cooped up in a demanding society and we are suffocating slowly by it’s incessant demands and pressures. Even emails bear threats stamped across them at the very bottom, warning us that if we are not the intended readers of the email, consequences can be dire. We fall in a black hole, a bottomless pit of threats, hence the term blackmail? As I pondered, the cell phone company called me, one of the largest networks they claim to be in Australia. I had been receiving phone calls every month from them for three months and repeating myself like a parrot. I resolved this is it, now or never. No more threats.

A heavily accented man says ” This is Steve” I very well know that the guy on the other end of the line is sitting under a tin shed on Bannarghata Road in Bangalore’s call center haven and faking that voice, desperately trying to sound like the more famous Steve of Waugh fame. The mobile company is calling me as a result of non-payment of the last three month’s bills. My case – I had left Australia permanently three months before, I had asked them to disconnect the mobile and internet service and gave them proof of my new residence outside kangaroo country and my new contact number in the country I now reside in. I had every logical reason to break my commitment with this telephone company and here I was explaining myself like a cheating wife having an affair and breaking a wedding vow! I was very calmly going through what transpired a few months back, how I called this erstwhile company and provided them with the needed information. Despite it, the company has been billing me and emailing me and calling me every month. Obviously I was not lying and I told the nincompoop Steve that if the company has been calling me on my non Australian number last three months, is it not obvious I do not live there anymore and not to forget that calls have not been made from the Australian number! Despite it, Steve threatens to instigate legal action if the payment is not made. He also threatens that all bona-fide debt collection charges will have to be borne by me as I cannot walk away from a committment!You would not want to hear the earful I gave poor Steve who quickly went from sounding like Steve Waugh to Deve Gowda in a span of three minutes. He forgot his accent and his tongue was tied. Steve transported himself from Brighton to Bannarghata in a jiffy. Obviously, not a cent went out of my bank account to this threatening company. After speaking to Steve’s Manager who called himself John ( Jaganathan I bet )the issue was resolved and I got a $50 credit into my account for the time I had wasted with a bunch of call center monkeys who had escaped from the Bannarghata zoo.I was proud with the $50. I too threatened counter legal action against a gigantic telephone company. I am an Aries and I can butt my head against the opponent at the slightest provocation. Deve Gowda was not a bull here but gave me loads of it. To squeeze them for a trickle too can be satisfying.Steve and John were at the receiving end of Aussie english training that could not have been provided in Bangalore’s call centers and $50 was my tuition fees. Deve Gowda and Jagan learnt the meaning of ” a few loose kangaroo galoot in the top paddock indulging in mindless argy bargy with brains of a billylid living in a bush”. They must have been grateful. 

We must not be threatened by one and all, we must not be blackmailed into submission by the nameless, faceless wonders of this world. We must not let the waffles of this world point a gun to our heads.


11 Responses to “Black mails…”

  1. I really enjoyed this one. You do have this knack of hitting the nail bang on the head while keeping the owner of the head in good humor. Some of the expressions and phrases that you have used were real gems. Nirupa Roy moms, Kader Khan dads, Devdas sons, Steve Waugh to Deve Gowda and John to Jaganathan transformations and the best of the lot, ‘kangaroo galoots in the top paddock’, though I fear I may have to swap places with Deve Gowda or Jaganathan to learn the meaning of this one.

    • Melwyn – Thanks a lot..glad you enjoyed it. We face this nonsense more often than not for the silliest of things there are threats. Re – the meaning, i am sure you can google

  2. My pleasure and no BM or EBM here.

  3. A good one di.But who knows that you may want to use this ploy on you son in the future “Marry her or be ready to face the consequences”… no…….dont be emotional di……Juuussssssssttttttt kiddin

  4. Loved your wrestling with Gowda and Jaganathan. lol….and the Trophy goes to……………………Sharmila !!!!!!!
    sorry to mention here but since they outsourced all those jobs to overseas this has been a very regular thing to deal with.Its really very frustrating that they just don’t know waht customer service is. or they just don’t believe in such thing considering them none better than Beggers.
    would you believe if a say that for this reason Republicans has/had been cursed by US ppl so much that peck of @$%#& will rot in Hell for sure.
    Its so annoying to see mistakes in your creditcard statements most of the time and they know Zero,Zilch,Nada to resolve any of such isseus. Can’t tolerate that tone with rudeness they are offering having no knowledge of outside world.
    EBM is the most dangerous thing we face right from our childhood starting from family to outer world. very hard to sustain in certain circumstances. That might have changed directions of many lives or many opportunities must have been missed. It goes on and on since many generations. perhaps patterns might be changed with time.

    • Monalisa – It can get very frustrating. I am not sure which lot get me on my nerves, the call centres in India or the local chinese who varely know english here in HK. It is nerve wrecking to say the least. Mistakes continue to be made in plenty but Indian call centres are still learning, and hope they learn fast else they face the risk of losing business. Nevertheless, the call centre business has contributed to our economy tremendously, we must learn to capitalize on it and not mess it up.

    • Monalisa – Thank you and glad you liked the BM one, lets hope as you say the patterns change soon.

  5. Thanks for an additional improbable blog. Where else could anyone get that kind of info written in such a perfect means? I have a presentation that I’m just now engaged on, and I have been on the look out for such information.

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