Meeting in sin city…episode 3

(Story continued from https://sharmilasays.wordpress.com/2010/09/10/meeting-in-sin-city-act-2-scene-1/)

Bush closed his eyes for a few seconds of momentary pleasure as Sonia tickled the back of his neck. N Srinivasan interrupted Bush’s Caribbean fantasy and declared ” Mr Bush, I have an urgent appeal to make to the Members”. Bush opened his eyes and beckoned Sonia to get back to her place. Sonia scowled at Srinivasan as she walked back to her seat.

” And what may that be, Srini?” asked Bush

Srinivasan leaned forward and with a look of utmost seriousness said ” Sir, I would like to excuse myself “.

Bush looking extremely irritated asks ” From what?”

Srini squirmed uncomfortably in his chair and squealed in a strange tone ” I need to visit the toilet urgently Sir, I think it is the mustard in the hot dog that I..”

Bush interrupted Srini ,glanced around the table and said ” We must pass a resolution on this matter before we let Srini go. We need an absolute majority from the members concurring with Srini. The majority must ” aye” the bill.”

By now Srinivasan was sitting with folded hands looking like an anguished puppy and beseeching the members with his pleading eyes to let him go.” What bill Sir?” asked a puzzled Srinivasan.

” Yeh bill ko paas karne key liye kitna milega?” quizzed Laloo.

Ignoring Srinivasan and Laloo, Bush continued intently” There are two placards in front of each one of you. Pick up the red placard if you do not want Srini to visit the loo, pick up the green placard if you want him to. Now, if you are not sure and listen to me very carefully, I will not repeat this.I have kept an orange sketch pen in front of you and an empty placard. On the empty placard, you would need to sketch it to the color orange and then raise the placard, only if you are not sure about your decision”.

Bush then eyed a member at the furthest end of the table, pointed to the figure and asked .” Who is that man with his head down and what is that strange noise he is making? I cannot see him clearly from here”

Kalmadi looked up the way Bush was pointing and remarked ” That is Deve Gowda Sir, he is snoring”

” Fancy him sleeping when I am speaking, ( stops, slurps more beer ) can somebody kick the living daylights out of him?”

” Even Cobb cannot wake him up. I had hired Cobb to incept Gowda when he was awake, the operation failed ” said Edvige Antonia Albina Maino very gloomily.

” Who is Caabb? Is he also from the Dravida Munnetra Kazhakam ?” asked a confused Raja

” Even I hired Cobb to incept Sangeetha.Cobb came to Hyderabad and visited us in Banjara, he took Sangeetha to our room and said he was incepting her. They did not come out for sometime. I was outside playing with the boys.The operation was a success” said Azhar and chewed on his nails again.

” Sir, I cannot wait for Gowda to get up…” Srinivasan squealed again

Bush snorted ” Shut up Srini, every member must pass this resolution, including this nincompoop Gowda, this is protocol”

Suddenly, the heavy oak doors on the eastern wall of the meeting room barged open and to everybody’s utter surprise there was nobody standing by the door. A hush fell across the group as people wondered what invisible force had made the doors fling open. And then there was a frenzy of non stop barking. Bush got up excitedly from his chair and dropped to his knees and hugged a small, black, excited Scottish Terrier .

” Barney, my boy. I have missed you so much. Where have you been these days? Give Daddy a kiss now…” Bush said lovingly and lent his cheek forward in anticipation of a wet lick. Strangely Barney struggled from Bush’s grip and charged towards the furthest end of the table. He jumped on top of the green suede in one go and charged towards the member who had his head down. Barney then hurled himself on Gowda and started licking his face amongst a volley of excited barks. Gowda woke up with a start and found to his utter dismay a pink, sloppy tongue cleaning his face. An extremely startled Gowda sprang up from his chair and yelled ” You bloody bastard, how dare you wake me up like this and how dare..”

Bush cut him short and bellowed ” Gowda, how dare you call Barney a bastard! All this while I thought I was Barney’s Daddy. When I asked Barney to kiss his Daddy, he came to you. I am in a state of utmost shock, Barney has broken my heart. I looked after him like my own son. You have no idea how grandly I performed Barney’s wedding with Ms Beazley a few years back. I spent over a hundred million on canine banquets, canine festivities and even sent them on a year-long honeymoon to Europe. Over five hundred canines flew on the Air Force one to attend Barney’s wedding in Washington. I have willed my estate to Barney and now you say you are his Dad!!”

An extremely confused Gowda staggered to his feet not minding Barney tugging at the loose end of his drawstring beneath his falling white dhothi. ” Sir, I am not this Buurney’s Appa..”

” It is Barney not Burney you idiot” yelled Bush

Srinivasan by now was sobbing hysterically unable to control himself. Bush looked at Srinivasan in a menacing manner and said dangerously” You better stop now Srinivasan lest I smash your pumpkin head into two, I do not need another mongrel testing me”.

A very business like voice cut into Bush’s menacing ramblings ” Barney is a fine Terrier, I recall trying to auction him off as the official mascot for one of the teams this year, but nobody wanted him. I would need to turn him around a bit this year and see what happens”.

Bush scowled and said ” Of course Barney is a thoroughbred Lalit. He is a prize-winning Scottish terrier.I meant Gowda is the mongrel”

Gowda once again scrambled up and yelled hoarsely across to Bush” Naanu enu naayi thara idhina? Helu”

” What language is that”? demanded Bush. By now Bush was seething and his face was crimson and he bit off a huge chunk of a cheesy ham burger and slurped more beer.

” Gowda is speaking in Kannada Sir, he wants to know if he looks like a dog” said a visibly excited Kalanidhi rubbing his hands in glee and  thinking about broadcasting the anguished Karnataka’s son of the soil speech across the southern states.

” But how can he speak Canada, is that not a country Daya? I thought it was ( stops , wears a quizzical look, bangs his fist on the table )Yes, it lies to the east of the United States, I am darn sure. Whooo! I remember. Hey Sonia, remember Canada” ( stops, winks at Sonia and slurps more beer ) And Daya do let Gowda know he looks like a Mongrel”.

Kalanidhi bangs his head with his fist and calmly addresses Bush ” Sir, I am Kala not Daya. Gowda is speaking in a language that is not Canada, it is K-A-N-N-A-D-A and Canada is a country which is to the North of the United States. A country to which I telecast my channels and …”

” Thats enough Kala, I am not here to listen to your horse shit ( stops, munches some fries ), let us continue with the agenda now”.

There was a sudden thud. By now Srinivasan had fallen unconscious on the hard timber floor and Barney was atop Srini in a jiffy.

” Ayyo..Only God can save me now” muttered a very pale Srini as sweat was breaking on his brows.

( To be continued…)

Disclosure : All characters in this story are a figment of the imagination. Any resemblance to a living or dead person is purely co-incidental and they must thank their lucky stars.

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80 Responses to “Meeting in sin city…episode 3”

  1. Sharmila,

    I want to read the next part – now!:)

    Hope it isnt Barney popped and Srini pooped!

    Enjoying your writing!

    Love,

    Aish.

  2. So my guess is right! Lalit made an entry.
    Eagerly waiting for the last person to show up…..

  3. Here we go. BTW, you are going to pay for this. The payment is taken in smileys and laughter…

    Screenplay Episode 3

    (Bush talks to Srinivasan. All are present)

    Srinivasan: Sir, I have to go.

    Bush: Yes. Yes. Bring me a black coffee.

    Srinivasan: I am Srinivasan from the BCCI.

    Bush: Are you not the waiter?

    Srinivasan: No.

    Bush: Then what are you doing here?

    Srinivasan: Sir, I am attending this meeting.

    Bush: Do you have to stand next to my chair?

    Srinivasan: I want to go to the loo Sir.

    Bush: Does my chair look like a loo? Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes, honey?

    Bush: Did you design this chair?

    Sonio: No, Manmo’hen’ did.

    Bush: Blimey! Can’t he use his head?

    Sharmila: Never Mind.

    Bush: Yes. Yes. I get your point. We’ll skip the head part.

    Srinivasan (Taps Bush on the shoulder): Sir, I must go

    Bush (Springs in surprise): Hey! Don’t do that… Who are you?

    Srinivasan: I am Srini. The BCCI…

    Bush: Oh yes. Yes. You are the loo.

    Srinivasan: No, Sir, I want to go to the loo.

    Bush: Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes, honey?

    Bush: Why does this fellow want to go to the loo? Does he work there?

    Sonio: No. He works in the BCCI…

    Bush: What is BCCI? Is that different from the loo?

    Sonio: Not very.

    Bush (To Srini): Look fatty, you are going nowhere till I say so…

    Srinivasan: Very urgent, Sir. I must pee…

    Bush: Pee, que or Errrr! I don’t currr. I mean I don’t care. Scoot back to your seat.

    [Sonio pushes Srini back]

    Bush (addresses the forum): Ladies and Gentlemen and Sonio..

    [General buzz]

    Bush: This fatty wants to go the loo. What say?

    Kalmadi: yes… yes.. no… no… yes… no…

    Sonio: Ask the CBI, IT, FERA, MEA, FM, HM…

    Sharmila: Never mind his loo…

    Manmo’hen’: In the interest of the country and the environment I propose…

    Raja: Daay, ennada loo?!

    [Devegowda snores]

    Bush (To Sharmila): Whadidesay?

    Sharmila: Who?

    Bush: That nodding dummy there.

    Sharmila: He didn’t say anything. He is snoring.

    Bush: So is that a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’?

    Sharmila: It means he doesn’t know.

    Bush: Okay. Good. I don’t know either. hehe…

    [Barking sound from inside]

    Bush: That sounds like little Barney… I can hear my genes… what-ho!

    Sharmila: That’s your dog.. its coming in… eeeeeekk…..

    Bush (Jumps out of the chair): Egad!… don’t scream.. for God’s sake…

    (To be continued…)

    🙂

  4. Screenplay Episode 3 contd…

    [Enter Barney]

    Barney: Woooof

    Bush: Wooofy baby, come to daddy!

    [Barney ignores Bush, sniffs at Sonio. Sonio moves away]

    Bush (To Sonio): Ooo… isn’t he hot?

    Srinivasan: I ate a hot dog with mustard.

    Bush: Really? Who are you?

    Barney: Woof??

    Srinivasan: I am Srinivasan. I must go to the loo.

    Bush: Oh yes. That’s right. Siddown.

    [Barney moves towards Devegowda]

    Bush: Barney, koochie-cooo, come here…

    [Barney ignores, scrambles to Gowda and jumps on to his lap.]

    Devegowda: Ayyo! Rama, Shiva, Parameshwara! Ye no iddu!

    Bush (To Sonio): Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes, honey?

    Bush: I smell a rat.

    Sonio: It’s a dog.

    Bush: I mean, there is something fishy.

    Sonio: Not fish. It’s a dog.

    Bush: Hey! Don’t confuse me. I know it’s a dog. It’s MY dog. I screwed the bitch.

    Sonio: What?!

    Bush: Cool! Don’t get hot. What I mean is I fathered that son-of-a-b*#@!

    Sonio: What?!

    Bush: Don’t what-what like a parrot! Tell me why is it licking the dummy!

    Sonio: What?!

    [Bush throws a paper weight at Sonio]

    Bush (To Devegowda): Hey! How does Barney know you?

    Barney: Woooooo.

    Bush (To Barney): Shut up! I am asking him.

    Devegowda: Ba*&#! Woke me up!

    Bush: He is not a Ba*&#! Are you his daddy?

    Devegowda (shakes his head): I am not Burney’s daddy.

    Bush: Barney.

    Devegowda: Baa nee

    Bush: Barney!

    Devegowda: Baaro nee!

    Raja: Pohda! Vrishabha!

    Lalit (To Bush): Mr. Bush. Barney is a thorough bred. Cannot be his production.

    Bush: Eh?

    Lalit: I tried to auction him off last time?

    Bush: Why?

    Lalit: I was hoping to make some money.

    Bush: Oh, money. Okay.

    Lalit: But there was a leak. Someone disclosed his geneology.

    Srinivsasan: Speaking of leaks, I need to go.

    Bush (bellows at Srini): Siddown fatty!

    [Srini squirms]

    Bush (To Lalit): Tell me about the leak.

    (To be continued…)

    🙂

  5. Ha ha ha..My tummy is aching now..lol. great stuff Reader…better than PGW too

  6. Screenplay Episode 3

    [Sharmila Intervenes]

    [General buzz across the table. Everyone is talking to everyone]

    Lalit (To Bush): And that one made a 100 millions.. we were spot on

    Manmo’hen’ (To Sonio): And the party should get a 1000 Crores in returns…

    Kalanidhi (To Karunanidhi): That deal was worth 20 crores but we got 200…

    Raja (To Karunanidhi): The 4G was worth 60 millions for me…

    Azharuddin (To Himself): Urr You know… you know..

    Srinivasan (To Bush): I will buy the NBA if you let me go to the loo

    Barney (To Devegowda): Woof

    Devegowda (To Barney): Zzzzzz

    Kalmadi (To Manmo’hen’): 1500 crores.. no .. yes.. no 800 crores… no.. yes..

    Sonio (To Bush): You know, no one in that family has owned a salary or business since 1925 but we are still billionaires.

    Lalu (To buffaloe on his phone): Mmmmuuuaaaahhh

    Bush (To Barney): Woofy baby…

    [Sharmila bangs on the table. Everyone stops. Silence. All stare at Sharmila]

    Sharmila: Stop!

    [General buzz. ‘Stop what?’ “Had something started?’ ‘Who is she?’]

    Sharmila: Please stop. Can y’all hear me?

    Bush (To Sonio): What did she say?

    Sonio: She asked, can you hear her?

    Bush (To Sharmila): Yes, my dear, we hear you.. go on..

    Sharmila: As convener of this meeting I would like to say a few words.

    Bush (Whispers To Sonio): Sonio..

    Sonio: Yes, honey.

    Bush: Whats convenn?

    Sonio: She wants to say something.

    Bush (To Sharmila): Okay babe. Speak Queen’s English wilya? (Winks at Sonio)

    Sharmila: I do. Ladies and Gentlemen of this august gathering.

    Bush: August… September… ha ha

    All: Here, here…

    Sharmila: As I was saying.. we meet here today in Sin City to share our sins. An appropriate place for an appropriate reason.

    Srinivasan: I object ma’am.

    Sharmila: Shut up. And sit down.

    Srinivasan (Shocked): Whaaattt

    Bush (To Srinivasan): Fatty, she is not one of us. Siddown.

    Sharmila: I must say this without fear. And I hope you would care to listen. For once, please listen.

    [Silence in the room. Devegowda holds his breath]

    (To be continued…)

  7. Screenplay episode 3 contd

    [Sharmila Intervenes]

    Sharmila: I quote, “He that is without Sin among you, let him first cast the stone.” Unquote

    Bush (To Sonio): Shakespeare?

    Sonio: No. Jesus Christ.

    Sharmila: But today. We have no use for stones. We are here not to hide our sins but to share them.

    Bush (To Sonio): That is definitely Shakespeare.

    Sonio: Shh.. quiet.

    Sharmila: And while you are at it, I would like you to consider some other prospects.

    [General buzz. Voices. ‘Whadidshesay?’ ‘Prospects? Does she mean money?’ ‘Is that a deal?’]

    Sharmila: I am not the best person to talk about dreams. You are all masters at selling dreams. You have made your treasures from them. So I shall not speak of dreams and speculations. I shall however request your attention to some other potential futures.

    [Voices. ‘Treasures? Mine is stuck in Swiss banks’ ‘Futures? Is that about stocks?’]

    Sharmila: Ladies and Gentlemen. You wield power. You wield money. You wield the destiny of 2 billion people on earth.

    [Voices. “Not true” “Here here” “Zzzzz” “Woof” “Well said babe!”]

    Sharmila: I request this meeting and especially Mr Bush to please spare a moment and consider the impact of your actions and future plans.

    Bush: Hey! I did nothing… what impact?.. I had no impact.. ask Barney..

    Barney: Woof

    Kalmadi: No one blames me for impact.. I have the CVC report… here..

    Manmo’hen’: I agree there is no impact. We can resolve this issue peacefully.

    Lalu: Arre O bushwa, ye Macau waale, kaun chakki ka atta khate hai re?

    Devegowda: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Raja: Total Impact irka madam, mind it.

    Sonio: Aap shaant rahiye. Kripaya aap shaant rahiye.

    Sharmila: Please continue with the meeting. I shall speak again later.

    [Sharmila takes her seat]

    Bush (To Sonio): Sonio, shall we go on?

    Sonio: yes.

    Srinivasan: Sir, can I go to the loo now?

    Bush: Hang on, fatty. We haven’t voted yet.

    [Bush bangs on the table]

    Bush: Members, we shall now vote for or against fatty’s loo.

    [Voices. “Here, here”]

    Bush: In favour shall say ‘Aye, against shall cry “No” and those who are not sure should check fatty’s trousers.

    (To be continued…)

    • Ha ha ha…I am in tears reading this crazy post. ..I am glad I finally have a role to play besides saying ” Never mind” !

      • 🙂

        You are the narrator. Your voice must rise once in a while.

        But the jamboree shall not cease so long as Bush is presiding!

        🙂

  8. Reader,
    Enjoyed your post too. Here is your payment 🙂 :-).
    (Second smiley is payment in advance for your next post)

  9. 🙂 Omg…! What a vivid pic. portrayed by Reader …
    One could visualize every scene of the episode…
    Too many calories been burnt laughing…. 🙂
    Gotta eat again… 🙂 I guess…… 🙂

  10. Screenplay Episode 3 contd…

    [ The Beer angle ]

    [Recap: Bush & Co. are about to vote on Srinivasan’s request]

    [Bush bangs on the table]

    Bush: Members, we shall now vote for or against fatty’s loo.

    [Voices. “Here, here”]

    Bush: In favour shall say ‘Aye, against shall cry “No” and those who are not sure should check fatty’s trousers.

    All Men: No…

    All Women: Yes…

    [Barney checks Srini’s trousers]

    Barney: Wauf.

    [Bush looks sadly at Srini]

    Bush: This doesn’t look good fatty. More ‘No’s only two ‘Yes’

    [Srinivasan begins to sob]

    Bush (Pats him on the back): Let me help you. I am good at a crisis.

    Srinivasan: You created this crisis!

    Bush: Yes. That’s why I am good.

    [Srinivasan bangs his head on the table. ]

    Bush (To the forum): Boys, boys, boys! Let us have a debate.. what say?!

    All: Here, here.

    [Srinivasan looks up. Bush smiles at him]

    Bush: Fatty, worry not. I’ll take care of you. You are like Barney to me.

    [General buzz]

    Bush: Silence! Let us begin…

    Devegowda: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Bush: Quiet, I say!

    Devegowda: Zz

    Bush: Okay. Someone tell me, why does fatty want to go to the loo?

    Sharmila: Too much beer

    Bush: Beer?

    Srinivasan: No, no.

    Bush: Are you drinking my beer?

    Srinivasan: No, no.. I swear…

    Bush: Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes, honey.

    Bush: What happened to the beer in my glass?

    Sonio: You drank it.

    Bush: Did I?

    Sonio: Yes.

    Bush: Are you sure?

    Sonio: Yes.

    Bush: What about fatty? Did he drink any of it?

    Sonio: I don’t know.

    Bush: You cannot say ‘I don’t know’.. that’s my line, you know..

    Sonio: Okay. Do you know?

    Bush: No, I don’t know.

    Bush (To Srini): Fatty! Tell me the truth or… I will make you pee right here!

    Srinivasan: I don’t drink beer.

    Bush: Then, who is drinking with me?!

    Barney: Woooof

    Bush: Woofy baby.. you?!

    Sonio: Barney is slurping from your glass.

    Bush: Really? How cute.. woofy goofy come to daddy!

    [Barney ignores him and goes to Devegowda]

    Bush (To Sonio): Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes, honey?

    Bush: Tell me… if woofy is drinking the beer, why is he not going to the loo?

    Sonio: He is doing it on Devegowda.

    Bush: Ah.. that is why.. Now I know! Now We know!

    [Standing applause]

    Bush: Gentlemen and ladies, we know now. This debate is over. Thank y’all

    Srinivasan: But.. but what about my request?

    Bush: Eh?

    (To be continued..)

    🙂

  11. To pee or not to pee – that is the question.

    • Aish – What a terrific quote..

    • Aishwarya,

      Watch the DVD. Special uncut clippings.

      [The Debate]

      Bush: Gentlemen, Fatty’s case begs our attention. Gov’nor Arnold Schwarzeneggar is a good friend of mine. Arnie says some good things. Time and Tide wait for none, he says. And while we have the Time, Fatty has the Tide in his bowels. And it is on a high!

      [General buzz of apporval]

      • Reader,

        I hope the Tide is in his bladder. Or they may have no Time either.

        🙂

        I love the ‘Baaro nee’ bit the best. Let me dedicate a song to dear Barney, my favorite character in the DVD.

        ‘Thodi si jo ‘pee’ li hai, chori toh nahi ki hai…’

        I better zip it now.

        🙂

      • Disclaimer: ‘Zip it’ as in keep quiet. Not related to the pee.

        Goodness, every phrase seems to have a double entendre. Aaarggghhh!!! 😦

    • I honestly think this is a brilliant one from you… still giggling Aish.

  12. Srini should follow Barney & do it on Devegowda……;-)

    • Imagination boggles.

      Srini’s case is something that is going to cause a flutter acorss the world. It will be the tragedy of the century. Facebook will be filled with odes to Srini. Twitteratti will send condolences.

      The UN will declare a Worldwide crisis. The IMF and WB will grant soft loans to India.

      Britney Spears and Shakira will do a concert in Aid of Srini.

      Stephen Hawkings will write his next book, “Time Before Srini”

      The NATO will join forces to prepare for the worst.

      The PETA will organize a protest to save Srini.

      Greenpeace will collect funds to Save the Environment.

      And ofcourse, Bush will send the US Marines to takeover Macau.

      🙂

      PS: See, the possibilities are global! Widescreen cinemascope. Something for everyone.

      🙂

    • LOL….this is a rocking idea.

    • great one Murali..

  13. Screenplay Episode 3

    Time for some song and dance.

    Bush played by Dilip Kumar.

  14. Aishwarya,

    Speaking for myself, this is what I feel about Sharmila’s storyboard.

    (BTW: Amjad Khan’s father Jayant is the villain in this movie. He appears for a moment in one of the frames. Guess who)

    • Reader,

      Is it the man in black with the black bow tie? From 2:37 on the timeline…

      Never knew Amjad Khan’s dad was an actor too…

      • Aishwarya,

        Bingo!

        That’s him. Jayant was a succesful actor. Played both good and bad characters with ease.

        Amjad was the elder son and equally good. The younger one Imtiaz was also an actor but didn’t make it far. He has played the villain in Feroz Khan’s Dharmaatma, which was a remake of Godfather I. Imtiaz plays Feroz Khan’s brother-in-law in that.

  15. Aishwarya,

    🙂 Don’t we know?

    • Reader,

      Yes.

      Jo tumko ho pasand wahi baat karenge
      Tum din ko agar raat kaho raat kahenge…

      🙂

      • Aishwarya,

        Interesting song. Feroz Khan and Sharmila Tagore.

        Feroz Khan drives a Left-Hand Drive open sedan that is not driven on Indian Roads!

      • Reader,

        I guess Feroz Khan and Dev Anand brought in the Western flavor to Hindi cinema…all the razzmatazz…stylish co-stars and all… Way ahead of their times in movie making…

  16. Anand Khare Says:

    In fact,’time is the essence’ here for’elixir of life’.

    Sharmila,Reader,Aishwarya -I am ROTFWL.)).

    Anand

  17. Anand Khare,

    ROTFWL? hasnaa manaa hai… 🙂

  18. Aishwarya,

    Note the vehicle.

  19. Aishwarya,

    Thank you. One of Subhash Ghai’s best.

  20. Aishwarya, Sharmila,

    End of Eid holidays today. Office re-opens tomorrow morning…

    And guess what! Office closes again for the weekend from tomorrow evening to Saturday. ha!

    Life is so tough! God is in His heaven, all’s right with world!

    Ik roz humaare haathon se badlega zamaana lagata hai! 🙂

  21. Aishwarya,

    Ittefaq toh hai… But everyone has dreams. Don’t miss the last verse of this song. It’s hilarious. And if I say it is, it must be 🙂

  22. Sharmila,

    Leaving for regular office after 14 long days. A bit rustic. My couch is going to miss me.

    But office is where life begins to make sense! And that’s where I belong!! Rise and Shine says the rising Sun! 🙂

  23. Reader,

    Have a good one!

  24. And once you are there….

  25. Renate,

    Thank you. I wish one of the ladies in the offices could sing like that!

    Our office more like this theme:

  26. Reader,

    I don’t know about you, but I’d take AB over Snow White any old time….

    Who plays the role of Gabbar Singh in your office?

    • Renate,

      We have a splendid mix in the office.

      My boss is Sanjeev Kumar, the guy with no hands and brains.

      There are females who behave like AB and men who behave like Jaya Bahaduri.

      Gabbar Singh is the HR Manager, obviously.

      There is the Bosses Secretary who is like the Jailor.

      The Bosses relatives are like the Surma Bhopalis.

      And the local nationals are like Dharmendra.

      And I am RD Burman, the musician behind the screen, who connects all the dots!

    • Renate,

      I wouldn’t take AB over Snow White. I was told by very reliable insiders that Snow White preferred dwarfs, in fact 7 of them!

      Don’t you think AB was too tall for her liking?

      🙂

  27. Renate,

    We have similar tastes on themes. At least my own, at work, goes as follows:

  28. Reader,

    How about you let that poor Srinivasan guy go to the loo finally and treat us to the screenplay of Sholay II out of your office?

    With your permission, Sharmila, please…. 🙂

    • Renate, Sharmila

      Oh, no, Renate. This is Sharmila’s creation. Srinivasan’s fate lies entirely in her hands.

      I am just doing the screenplay.

      Allow Sharmila to pick and choose as she pleases. Her wide range of subjects is the real fun!

  29. Sharmila,

    I never knew politicians could be portrayed in such a funny manner. Trust you to come up with such a brilliant post! And Reader’s screenplay as the perfect icing for the cake.

    My favorite moments:

    Barney’s entry (Burney, Baa nee, Baaro nee!) and his expressive barks – ‘Woof’, ‘Woof?’, ‘Wauf’, ‘Woooooo’.

    Bush’s ‘September’ to your ‘august gathering.’

    Gowda’s ‘Zzzzzzzzzz’. After ‘Quiet, I say!’, ‘zz’.

    Laloo to buffalo, ‘Muuaaahh’. To which I expect, the buffalo said ‘Mooooooo…ah’.

    Definitely one of the best posts to date, imho.

    Love,

    Aish.

  30. Screenplay Episode 3 Contd…

    [ Last para of the storyboard ]

    [Chaos reigns in the room, as Srinivasan slips off his chair and falls unconscious on the hard timber floor.]

    Bush: Friends! We have a grave situation here. Fatty has fallen off! Barney!

    Barney: Woof???

    Bush: Give fatty the Kiss of Life.

    [Barney sniffs up to Srinivasan and relieves himself on him]

    Bush: Damn! Kiss of Life, woofy goofy! Not Piss of Life!

    [Barney licks Srinivasan who wakes up with a start and drops off again]

    Bush: Gentlemen and Ladies and Sonio!

    [General buzz]

    Bush: Quiet!

    [Silence]

    Bush: We have a serious situation! I want you to keep this a secret. Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes, honey?

    Bush: This fatty incident must not leak out!

    Sonio: He might leak any moment now.

    Bush: I mean no media! (To the forum) Do y’all get that?

    [Inaudible murmur]

    Lalit: I tweeted already! I’ve 325,000 responses in one minute!

    Bush: Good! But Remember, no media.

    Sonio: It is on facebook!

    Bush: Great! But remember, no media.

    Kalmadi: It is on Wikileaks!

    Bush: Fine! But remember, no media.

    Sharmila: What’s the game? Why no media?

    Bush: Hehe! You are smart babe! I shall handle the media myself. Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes, honey?

    Bush: Issue a denial! Now!

    Sonio: Saying what?

    Bush: Say… this Press release is issued on behalf of fatty.. whats-your-name?

    Srinivasan: Srinivasan

    Bush: Okay.. Sonio… take down… write.. We, the Macau Committe, hereby strongly deny the release of or by or upon or whatever else of Mr. Chivas Regal, during or after or before or anyother time as implied in Section III of Article XLC of the Macau Convention.

    Sharmila: What is Section III of Article XLC??

    Bush (Smiles): Thats a good question.

    Sharmila: I know, but what is it?

    Bush (smiles): I don’t know.

    Sonio: Shall I send it by mail?

    Bush: Yes, send it from my Pentagon account.

    Sonio: Why?

    Bush: It’s the most hacked account in the world. I can deny the mail later!

    Sonio (Smiles): O, you are good at this.

    Bush: I know.

    Sonio and Sharmila: What?!

    [Bush smiles]

    [Fadeout]

  31. Reader – I am impressed. Really.;0

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