Meeting in sin city…episode 3

(Story continued from https://sharmilasays.wordpress.com/2010/09/10/meeting-in-sin-city-act-2-scene-1/)

Bush closed his eyes for a few seconds of momentary pleasure as Sonia tickled the back of his neck. N Srinivasan interrupted Bush’s Caribbean fantasy and declared ” Mr Bush, I have an urgent appeal to make to the Members”. Bush opened his eyes and beckoned Sonia to get back to her place. Sonia scowled at Srinivasan as she walked back to her seat.

” And what may that be, Srini?” asked Bush

Srinivasan leaned forward and with a look of utmost seriousness said ” Sir, I would like to excuse myself “.

Bush looking extremely irritated asks ” From what?”

Srini squirmed uncomfortably in his chair and squealed in a strange tone ” I need to visit the toilet urgently Sir, I think it is the mustard in the hot dog that I..”

Bush interrupted Srini ,glanced around the table and said ” We must pass a resolution on this matter before we let Srini go. We need an absolute majority from the members concurring with Srini. The majority must ” aye” the bill.”

By now Srinivasan was sitting with folded hands looking like an anguished puppy and beseeching the members with his pleading eyes to let him go.” What bill Sir?” asked a puzzled Srinivasan.

” Yeh bill ko paas karne key liye kitna milega?” quizzed Laloo.

Ignoring Srinivasan and Laloo, Bush continued intently” There are two placards in front of each one of you. Pick up the red placard if you do not want Srini to visit the loo, pick up the green placard if you want him to. Now, if you are not sure and listen to me very carefully, I will not repeat this.I have kept an orange sketch pen in front of you and an empty placard. On the empty placard, you would need to sketch it to the color orange and then raise the placard, only if you are not sure about your decision”.

Bush then eyed a member at the furthest end of the table, pointed to the figure and asked .” Who is that man with his head down and what is that strange noise he is making? I cannot see him clearly from here”

Kalmadi looked up the way Bush was pointing and remarked ” That is Deve Gowda Sir, he is snoring”

” Fancy him sleeping when I am speaking, ( stops, slurps more beer ) can somebody kick the living daylights out of him?”

” Even Cobb cannot wake him up. I had hired Cobb to incept Gowda when he was awake, the operation failed ” said Edvige Antonia Albina Maino very gloomily.

” Who is Caabb? Is he also from the Dravida Munnetra Kazhakam ?” asked a confused Raja

” Even I hired Cobb to incept Sangeetha.Cobb came to Hyderabad and visited us in Banjara, he took Sangeetha to our room and said he was incepting her. They did not come out for sometime. I was outside playing with the boys.The operation was a success” said Azhar and chewed on his nails again.

” Sir, I cannot wait for Gowda to get up…” Srinivasan squealed again

Bush snorted ” Shut up Srini, every member must pass this resolution, including this nincompoop Gowda, this is protocol”

Suddenly, the heavy oak doors on the eastern wall of the meeting room barged open and to everybody’s utter surprise there was nobody standing by the door. A hush fell across the group as people wondered what invisible force had made the doors fling open. And then there was a frenzy of non stop barking. Bush got up excitedly from his chair and dropped to his knees and hugged a small, black, excited Scottish Terrier .

” Barney, my boy. I have missed you so much. Where have you been these days? Give Daddy a kiss now…” Bush said lovingly and lent his cheek forward in anticipation of a wet lick. Strangely Barney struggled from Bush’s grip and charged towards the furthest end of the table. He jumped on top of the green suede in one go and charged towards the member who had his head down. Barney then hurled himself on Gowda and started licking his face amongst a volley of excited barks. Gowda woke up with a start and found to his utter dismay a pink, sloppy tongue cleaning his face. An extremely startled Gowda sprang up from his chair and yelled ” You bloody bastard, how dare you wake me up like this and how dare..”

Bush cut him short and bellowed ” Gowda, how dare you call Barney a bastard! All this while I thought I was Barney’s Daddy. When I asked Barney to kiss his Daddy, he came to you. I am in a state of utmost shock, Barney has broken my heart. I looked after him like my own son. You have no idea how grandly I performed Barney’s wedding with Ms Beazley a few years back. I spent over a hundred million on canine banquets, canine festivities and even sent them on a year-long honeymoon to Europe. Over five hundred canines flew on the Air Force one to attend Barney’s wedding in Washington. I have willed my estate to Barney and now you say you are his Dad!!”

An extremely confused Gowda staggered to his feet not minding Barney tugging at the loose end of his drawstring beneath his falling white dhothi. ” Sir, I am not this Buurney’s Appa..”

” It is Barney not Burney you idiot” yelled Bush

Srinivasan by now was sobbing hysterically unable to control himself. Bush looked at Srinivasan in a menacing manner and said dangerously” You better stop now Srinivasan lest I smash your pumpkin head into two, I do not need another mongrel testing me”.

A very business like voice cut into Bush’s menacing ramblings ” Barney is a fine Terrier, I recall trying to auction him off as the official mascot for one of the teams this year, but nobody wanted him. I would need to turn him around a bit this year and see what happens”.

Bush scowled and said ” Of course Barney is a thoroughbred Lalit. He is a prize-winning Scottish terrier.I meant Gowda is the mongrel”

Gowda once again scrambled up and yelled hoarsely across to Bush” Naanu enu naayi thara idhina? Helu”

” What language is that”? demanded Bush. By now Bush was seething and his face was crimson and he bit off a huge chunk of a cheesy ham burger and slurped more beer.

” Gowda is speaking in Kannada Sir, he wants to know if he looks like a dog” said a visibly excited Kalanidhi rubbing his hands in glee and  thinking about broadcasting the anguished Karnataka’s son of the soil speech across the southern states.

” But how can he speak Canada, is that not a country Daya? I thought it was ( stops , wears a quizzical look, bangs his fist on the table )Yes, it lies to the east of the United States, I am darn sure. Whooo! I remember. Hey Sonia, remember Canada” ( stops, winks at Sonia and slurps more beer ) And Daya do let Gowda know he looks like a Mongrel”.

Kalanidhi bangs his head with his fist and calmly addresses Bush ” Sir, I am Kala not Daya. Gowda is speaking in a language that is not Canada, it is K-A-N-N-A-D-A and Canada is a country which is to the North of the United States. A country to which I telecast my channels and …”

” Thats enough Kala, I am not here to listen to your horse shit ( stops, munches some fries ), let us continue with the agenda now”.

There was a sudden thud. By now Srinivasan had fallen unconscious on the hard timber floor and Barney was atop Srini in a jiffy.

” Ayyo..Only God can save me now” muttered a very pale Srini as sweat was breaking on his brows.

( To be continued…)

Disclosure : All characters in this story are a figment of the imagination. Any resemblance to a living or dead person is purely co-incidental and they must thank their lucky stars.