Meeting in sin city… ( episode 4 )

( Continued from )

Srinivasan lay prostrate on the floor for a few minutes. The members surrounded him with a lot of concern whilst Barney sat on Srini’s prosperous stomach and panted long and hard on Srini’s face. Srinvasan was now turning red and he rolled his eyes from side to side, he appeared to be in considerable agony. Bush addressed Srini in a soft voice ” Srini, I know this is very important for you. So, listen to me carefully. Are you sure you would still like to visit the rest room?”

Srini groaned and mumbled feebly ” Yes Sir, please…”

Bush then requested all members to go back to their respective seats with the exception of Barney who was being largely ignored by Bush ever since the truth was out about his Father.

Laloo scratched his shocking white tuft of hair on his head and asked ” yeh rest room kya hota hai, Srini ko kitna paisa milega rest room jaane ke liye?”

Ignoring Laloo, Kalmadi looked intently at Bush ” Sir, I would like to propose something here. I think we must air lift Srini and Barney to New Delhi immediately”.

Bush arched his eyebrows and addressed Kalmadi in a quizzical manner ” You reckon? Why may I ask? ”

Kalmadi replied ” Mr Bush. I am taking a very strong interest in ensuring that the common wealth games get postponed or better still, they are never held. This way I can make more money on delays. The plus point of canceling the games would be that we can bid for it again and…”

Bush cuts Kalmadi ” But what does Srini have to do with your smart plan Khal?”

Bush then bellowed to Gowda who was by now half asleep again ” Hey you, can you get me some more beer? Jesus, is there much that you do when you are awake? Hey Sonia, what is this fat lump’s name again ?”

Sonia gave another high-pitched giggle, tapped her long nails on the table and in a sing-song fashion said ” Deve Gow-da”

Bush snatched the beer bottle that Gowda got for Bush, looked intently at Gowda and said ” Your name sounds like a vegetable, I am unable to recall the exact name of it though..wait ( stops, slurps some beer) Yes, you are a GOURD with an “a” at the end eh?”

Gowda mumbled ”  Devare ” and cussed Bush under his breath.

Kalmadi started again ” Mr Bush. I have employed a team that goes around making the venue filthy and I would like to designate the capable Mr Srinivasan as the team leader given that he was gracious enough to offer me a post in the BCCI if I lose my position as the Indian Olympic Association chief. And  one more thing Sir, I am Kalmadi not Khalmadi”.

Bush addressed Kalmadi ” Hey, but Obama told me he met this autistic guy who forced the “K” from his epi goat..err, what is it Sonia? ( Stops, looks at Sonia who looks away,then continues ) Have you set any key performance indicators for Srini?”

Kalmadi flicked open his lap top and fired up a power point presentation on the northern white wall of the meeting room via a projector. The first slide of the power point presentation read ” How to prepare for the para olympics”

Gowda looked at the mouse next to the lap top and asked Modi seated next to him ” What is that thing?”

Lalit Modi irritably said ” Mouse”

Gowda said ” Oudha, mouse now looks different to what I saw in the paddy fields”

Modi ignored Gowda, adjusted his glasses, looked at Kalmadi and said scornfully ” I thought you were organizing the Common wealth games?”

An irritated Kalamdi snapped at Modi ” You shut up Modi. This is my back up plan. I have ensured that all the fit athletes are injured at the venue and then we can host the para olympics soon after, just in case we do not bid for the commonwealth games again that is”

Kalmadi punched in some numbers on his computer and brought up the second slide on the wall. The second slide stated “Ensure four stools a day are delivered per room at the village”.

The third slide then popped up, it read ” Allow one dog to occupy every bed at the games village.

The fourth read ” Ensure all false roofs collapse every now and then”.

The fifth read ” Destabilize all bridges at the venue”

Kalmadi looked up at the group banged his fist on the table and said ” We are terribly short of this target Sir.There is considerable area to cover. We must air lift Srini and Barney immediately.They are much needed to meet the requirements of slide number two and three”.

Bush gazed around the group, placed his right hand over his chest and addressed them ” On this day, prescribed by law and marked by ceremony, we celebrate the durable wisdom of our Constitution and recall the deep commitments that unite us all.I am grateful for the honor of this hour, mindful of the consequential times in which we live and determined to fulfill the oath that I have sworn and you have witnessed.At this gathering, our duties are defined not by the words I use, but by the history we have seen together.At this hour of crisis, it pains me to take this decision. But, the call of duty supersedes everything else. We must airlift Srini and Barney to New Delhi”.

Srinivasan staggered to his feet with great difficulty at this point, folded his hands with utmost appreciation.Barney jumped on the table and waited for the order.

Bush continued seriously while Srini stood in rapt attention ” But before we send this capable team, we must pass the resolution. Do you, honorable members remember the rules? Do you all “aye” my decision?”

The members nodded their heads in unison .Nine members lifted the green placard.

Bush took a count and said ” We are one short”

Edvige Antonia Albina Maino hissed ” You forgot to vote and count yourself”

Bush looked pleased lifted his green placard and continued “To expedite the disaster at the Common wealth games I order Srinivasan to be the team leader of the prestigious ” Stool” SWOT team. This team will report to Srinivasan on all matters regarding their progress. There is only one force of history that can break the reign of the decent and the tolerant and that is the force of human freedom which is exercised by Srinivasan. May God be with you Srinivasan. Srinivasan is our weapon of mass destruction. We wish you meet your target Srinivasan”

Bush then looked at Barney, his eyes a bit moist ” And you too Barney ”

Barney started whining.

Laloo asked ” If you wish Sirji, can we send my wife too. She will also meet target as she eats lots of fodder na”

Raja quizzed ” Sir, will we increase the team size soon?”

Bush looked at Raja and said ” Today, I’m going to talk about our strategy for victory, what we’ve accomplished to make our team more secure, your crucial role in this struggle, and why we need you to fight the commonwealth games and transform it to the para olympics. You will be prepared to answer any challenge, and defeat any adversary if there is a need.”

Raja stood up and clapped. He darted towards Bush and again placed a heavy jasmine and lily garland around Bush’s neck. Before Bush could react, it was all over.Bush’s face came crashing down on the table.

Sonia hurried towards Bush, lifted his face delicately from the table and rubbed his head with her long fingers ” Are you okay sweetheart?”

Bush ignored Edvige Antonia Albina Maino, looked up at Raja and yelled ” You blooming idiot, I order you to accompany Srini and Barney now on this mission. And this is an oder”

Raja stood at attention, saluted Bush and said crisply ” Yes Sir ”

Azhar who was quiet all along finally said ” I can prepare the boys for the mission if there is a need”

Kalanidhi said ” Mr Bush. I am now arranging to cover Srinivasan’s mission in New Delhi.We will broadcast his mission live”

Bush slurped more beer, munched more fries looked at Edvige Antonia Albina Maino ” Sonia, you getting the plane ready for the mission?”

Edvige Antonia Albina Maino laughed sinisterly and said ” Yes sweetheart”

(To be continued……)


84 Responses to “Meeting in sin city… ( episode 4 )”

  1. Sharmila,

    Here we go… back by public demand!!!

    See… elitist recognition don’t matter… it’s the one’s in the front row who pay for the fun.. ask Rajinikanth…he’ll say “The customer rules”!!!!

    Now, let me go back to the post and read the scene…

    Back in a jiffy… a few hours to be precise…


    MonaLisa says “tomorrow… or so”… but I won’t… and don’t you say ‘Never Mind’ to me… I am not Bush, na… I do mind…


  2. Not sure whether one should be Kamal or Rajni…Ha, I see the “jiffy” terminology in strong use..;0

  3. Screenplay episode 4

    Bush: Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes, honey

    Bush: We are back…

    Sonio: Yes, honey

    Bush: We got one more term.. tore the gore!

    Sonio: 4th episode on Sharmila’s account!

    Bush: Eh?

    Sonio: We got a 4th episode on Sharmila’s account!

    Bush: Doesn’t the public count?

    Sonio: No honey! Public doesn’t count. That’s too much math.

    Bush: I get your point. Shanks Thamila!

    Sonio & Sharmila: Eh?

    Bush: I mean Thanks Sharmila… And now! Lets get on with this one… where is the leaking barrel… Fatty! Where are you?!

    Sonio: Under the table with Barney…

    Bush: Woofy baby, is he alright?

    Barney: Wooooo

    Bush: Good. Are all the rest here? Guys count yourself.

    All together: One.

    Bush: Good. Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes honey?

    Bush: Can you count?

    Sonio: Yes

    Bush: How many are we?

    Sonio: Ten.

    Bush: I can see only nine.

    Sonio: You missed two halfs.

    Bush: Did I?

    Sonio: Yourself and Barney

    Bush: Right. Guys! Lets get this show on the road… Dummy!

    Devegowda: Huh?

    Bush: Bet my gear!

    Devegowda: Eh?

    Bush: Get my Beer!


    (To be continued…)


    • eh eh…more ridiculous than mine,,,ROFL…

    • Sharmila,

      This is normal.

      Manoj Kumar once said, a movie is made 4 times. First on the storyboard, second in the screenplay, third during the shooting and finally on the editor’s table.

      The public gets to see an idea that makes it through all four!

  4. Screenplay episode 4

    [Kalmadi staggers up to Sonio standing beside Bush and whispers in her left ear]

    Kalmadi (In Sonio’s ear): We must get him to New Delhi.

    Bush: Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes, honey

    Bush: What’s his name?

    Kalmadi: Suresh Kalmadi

    Bush: Maddy, why do you speak through her ears? I can hear you.

    Kalmadi: You can?

    Bush: ‘Course I can! ‘We must take him to New Delhi’. It’s coming out of her right ear! Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes, honey

    Bush: Plug that tunnel between your ears. (To Kalmadi) Maddy, what’s it about?

    Kalmadi: Uhh.. yes… no.. I mean.. The CWG

    Bush: What?

    Kalmadi: Common Wealth Games in New Delhi

    Bush: Hmmm.. Common Wealth… is that like a Pension Fund?

    Kalmadi: Well… yes.. I mean no.. yes.. I mean.. it’s like a sporting event

    Bush: You play games with the common wealth?

    Kalmadi: Yes.. I mean… yes… no.. no..

    Bush: Cool. Must be the Queen’s idea. (Winks at Sonio)

    Kalmadi: Yes.. I mean no.. sort of… I mean… I’ve a request…

    Bush: Shoot

    Kalmadi: Eh?

    Bush: Say it. Off load. (To Srini) Not you, Fatty! Woofy watch him wilya!

    Barney: Woof!

    Kalmadi: There is some good news. A bridge fell down yesterday near the stadium.

    Bush: A bridge too far, eh? It’s okay Maddy, in every life some bridge must fall said Shakespeare

    Sharmila: Rain

    Bush: Eh?

    Sharmila: Rain must fall. Not bridge.

    Bush: Rain! okay. Why did rain fall on the bridge Maddy?

    Kalmadi: The new bridge fell Sir! And the dogs poo was on the beds! And the roof tiles are raining!

    Bush: Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes honey

    Bush: My head’s spinning. Where’s the beer?

    [Bush takes the Beer and shakes his head]

    Bush: Maddy! Start again. Dog fell raining poo on the bridge.

    Kalmadi: No Sir. New Bridge fell.

    Bush: Bridge for what?

    Kalmadi: For people to cross over it!

    Bush: That’s duh. In the US we make bridges for the river to pass under it.

    Kalmadi: And now the dogs are poo-ing on the beds.

    Bush: Woofy Goofy!

    Barney: Woof??

    Bush: Did you poo on his bed?

    Barney: Waaauu???

    Bush (To Kalmadi): Nope. Not him.

    Sonio (To Bush): Listen to him, honey. Kalmadi has a proposal.

    Bush: Really?

    [Kalmadi smiles]

    Bush (To Kalmadi): I’m sorry, mate. I’m married already.

    Sonio: A business proposal.

    Bush: Oh, Okay. Go on Maddy. What’s it?

    (To be continued…)

    (Coming up next: Kalmadi proposes Bush disposes )


  5. Screenplay Episode 4

    [Kalmadi Proposes]

    Bush: Go on Maddy, whats it?

    Kalmadi: Kalmadi, Sir

    Bush: Cull what?

    Kalmadi: Kalmadi

    Bush: Cull money you mean.

    Sharmila (To Kalmadi): Never Mind

    [Kalmadi nods]

    Kalmadi: Kickbacks pending from Australia, London, Dubai.

    Bush: Want me to send the US marines? They kick everything anywhere

    Kalmadi: No. I want the games postponed. They are fixed next month.

    Bush: Fixed already? Very smart. Are you Pakistani?

    Kalmadi: No, I am better.

    Bush: You want me to un-fix them? Why?

    Kalmadi: Yes.. I mean.. postpone them indefinitely.. or cancel them

    Bush: Definitely you mean

    Kalmadi: Huh?

    Bush: Definitely postpone. Not indefinitely. Queen’s English buddy.

    Kalmadi: Yes.. I mean yes.. no..

    Bush: How?

    Kalmadi: I’ll take Srinivasan with me to New Delhi

    Bush: Who is Sin Ass?

    Kalmadi (Points to Srini): Him

    Bush: Oh Fatty… no.. can’t do…

    Kalmadi: Oh please

    Sonio: We can’t let him loose.. he’ll spill over any moment…

    Bush: Guys! What say? We have a choice. Fatty kicks the bucket here or Delhi!

    Raja: Let’s deal

    Kalanidhi: First rights!

    Azhar: Urrr you know…

    Barney: Oooo

    Devegowda: Zzz.. hhrrmmmph….

    Lalu: Hum dekhe ka bushwa

    Bush: Let’s call a vote. All against Fatty’s motion say ‘Aye’

    Sonio: All in favor you mean

    Bush: No favor, we mean business.

    All: Aye!

    Bush: The motion is passed. Hold it, Fatty, don’t pass. Cull Maddy, let’s deal.

    (To be continued..)


    (Coming up.. The Deal

  6. Screenplay Episode 4

    [The deal]

    Bush (To the Forum): Guys, let’s deal. We sell Fatty to Maddy, what say!

    [Raja picks up a huge garland]

    Bush: Hey! Freeze, right there!

    [Raja stumbles and stops in attention]

    Bush: Work this out. Begin with dummy… Dummy!

    Devegowda: Zzzzzz

    Bush: Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes honey

    Bush: Wake ‘im up! Whats-his-name!

    Sonio: Devegowda

    Bush (Bellows): GOURDA!

    [Devegowda falls off the chair. General commotion]

    Devegowda: Err..

    Bush: Wake up!

    Devegowda: Uunnhhh..

    Bush: No win. Pass him. Who’s next?

    [Raja moves a step forward with the garland]

    Bush: Stay there! You! Don’t ya move!!!

    Barney: Woooo???

    Bush: Not you woofy, this guy with the RDX!

    [Barney smiles]

    Bush (To Azhar): You! what’s your name? Do you have a deal?

    Azhar: Urrr.. you know…

    Bush: Yes.. yes.. I know… Pass him… next!

    Kalanidhi: I wan’t the broadcasting rights!!!

    Bush (To Kalmadi): Maddy! Give him the broads!

    Kalmadi: Yes Sir! We have Russian, Kazhak, Uzbek, Croatian…

    Kalanidhi: Broadcasting Sir!

    Bush: Don’t be greedy Son! Let someone do the casting… on the couch.

    Kalanidhi: I mean TV rights!

    Bush: TV?! Oh ok…why don’t you speak English? Deal! Who’s next?

    [Raja moves a step forward with the garland]

    (To be continued…)


  7. Anand Khare Says:

    Reader,Sharmila,Aishwarya, Monalisa (absentees included)

    Unstoppable laughter. Maddy.pension fix indefinite or definite etc hahhahaha

    I am reading a book called ‘A whole new mind’ these days.The author believes that next few years would celebrate people like you who are good at imaginations,design,story telling and humor along with other talents and aptitudes. The author doesn’t know we have always valued them.

    About the bridge collapse. Hitler believed in burning the bridges for his forces to have sure victory. As burning was not possible due to torrential rains in New Delhi, organizers simulated the same condition by crashing the bridge.


  8. Dear Barney,

    Now, now…dont whine…I know you are a good dog and I am sorry you are in Srini’s team. But you’ll love India I promise…well, everything except our CWG village. Just think of it as a ‘village’ and then it wont look so bad after all, ok? You will be able to flop yourself anywhere you please…except under ceilings and bridges. Avoid the trenches and the pools (I dont know which is which). I think you’ll be safest with your friends in one of the guest beds. Choose a room closest to the emergency exit, just to be on the safer side…

    Take care of Srini. See that he doesnt offload his ammunition too soon. Srini is allowed no laughter. No crying. No lifting heavy objects. No straining. Srini, more power to you…err…sphincter.

    A big woof to you, Barnie baby



  9. Sharmila – Excellent post as always. Stings a little because of the CWG events. Bitter truth it is…

    Reader – My favorite line, ‘The motion is passed. Hold it, Fatty, don’t pass.’ Lol… Waiting to see if Raja succeeds, a step at a time… 🙂

    Anand – Hi…:)

  10. Screenplay Episode 4 Contd

    [Raja moves toward Bush with the garland. Bush takes a defensive boxing stance]

    Bush: Hey! Step closer and I knock your head off!

    Raja: I yam Pee Raja 4 Gee Telecom Saar

    Bush: Listen telecom

    Raja: Yes Saar

    Bush: Don’t Pee here. Go. Shoo. Disappear.

    [Raja stands still]

    Lalu: Bushwa

    Bush: Yea?

    Lalu: Hummaar sunoge bhi?

    Bush: What?

    Lalu: I to be speak to deal of Delhi

    Bush: You’ve a deal?

    Lalu: Very yes.

    Bush: Shoot

    Lalu: Kalmadi make with 35000 Crore!

    Bush: Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes honey?

    Bush: Who is Crow?

    Sonio: It’s the Indian currency like the US dollar

    Lalu: Kalmadi make with 35000 Crores!

    Bush: Maddy, you make with 35000 crows?

    Kalmadi: No! Yes… I mean.. no!

    Bush: Whoa boy! You make a fine republican!

    Lalu: Bushwa, I make only 1000 crores. It is fodder for my wife!

    Bush: Maddy!

    Kalmadi: Yes, Sir

    Bush: Give him some crows.

    Lalu: Thank to you Bushwa. For that money, my wife will give milk to all in Delhi

    Bush: Can you get me some beer?

    Lalu: Beer not give. Buffalo give only white milk

    Bush: Beer, dummy! Get me some Beer!

    [Devegowda wakes up with a start]

    Devegowda: Unnhhh?! Yaaru?

    [Goes back to sleep]

    Bush: Next

    Lalit: I have a deal

    Kalmadi: No! No deal with him!

    Lalit: I object!

    Kalmadi: I already have a deal with Srini. I am joining the BCCI

    Lalit: I’ll take you to the Supreme Court!

    Kalmadi: She is standing right here.

    Lalit: Who? Where?

    Kalmadi: Ma’am Sonio! My Supreme Court!

    Bush: Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes honey?

    Bush: Who is this guy?

    Sonio: He is Lalit Modi. He laundered the Indian Paisa League

    Bush: What is Paisa?

    Sonio: It’s Indian currency.

    Bush: You said Crow was currency.

    Sonio: Yes. Paisa is like Cents

    Bush: You! Mr. Lomadi.

    Lalit: Lalit Modi

    Bush: Yes. We don’t deal in Cents. Shoo. away!

    Kalmadi: Sir, I have a plan

    Bush: What?

    Kalmadi: A plan.

    Bush: Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes honey?

    Bush: Who is the boss?

    Sonio: You are

    Bush: Hear that Maddy! You don’t plan. You tell me. And then I have the plan.

    Kalmadi: Yes, Sir. I’ll show a slideshow

    Bush: Ah well. Good. You slide like Chaplin on the Rink?!

    Kalmadi: Huh?

    Bush: You slide on skates?

    Kalmadi: Slideshow Sir on Microsoft Windows PowerPoint

    Bush: Bill’s Microsoft? He wastes money! Never makes anything that runs on gas.

    Kalmadi: Please Sir. I’ll slide the show

    Bush: Yes slide the show. Go on.

    (To be continued..)


  11. Bush: Maddy, it’s too hot here!

  12. Kalmadi sings: Nothing Wrong with Me

  13. Sharmila, Aishwarya,

    Just got a most disturbing call from my movie club. Received free passes for Dabbang. I am shaken, to say the least.

    Do you think I should risk it? It is a risk, don’t you think?

    I mean. Look at it this way. One can jiggle with Zandu Balm hui and the et cetra, but can I survive shirtless Slowman for 3 hours?

    Imagine my divided state! I’ll sit staring at the moving pictures in the hall while all the time my heart shall be in Macau with Bush & Co devouring Maddy’s slideshow.

    I have half a mind ( hmm.. which is about all I have )… to tell Slumman to take a walk.

    I seek your counsel. Should I stay back or take the risk of watching Dabbang even if it is free?

    Aapke choice hai:

    A: Reader watch Dabbang; B: Reader watch Maddy’s slideshow

    C: Reader buy DVD of Dabbang; D: Reader see Dabbang return & see Maddy’s show

    You have 30 minutes to respond! Your time starts now…

  14. For Anand Khare,

    (Shall translate it, if you wish)

  15. Anand Khare Says:


    Thanks.I would love to read the translation for better understanding.I always cutpaste and keep it in my personal notes for future ref.

    Meanwhile, an sms going around,

    Breaking news- kalmadi attempted suicide by hanging himself in a stadium.the celing came down and some important technicians are believed to have died due to impact.


  16. Anand Khare,

    The song depicts Lord Rama’s righteousness.

    [For those new to the epic, Lord Rama, Crown Prince of Ayodhya, was exiled by his step-mother to enable her son, Bharat, to take his place. However, her son declined the throne. Rama returned to the throne after 14 years in exile.]

    दैवजात दुःखे भरतां दोष ना कुणाचा
    पराधीन आहे जगतीं पुत्र मानवाचा

    … … … No one be blamed for the sufferings of fate
    … … … A human child is given to such dependence

    माय कैकयी ना दोषी, नव्हे दोषि तात
    राज्यत्याग काननयात्रा, सर्व कर्मजात
    खेळ चाललासे माझ्या पूर्वसंचिताचा

    … … … Mother is not in error nor is father
    … … … A kingdom left for exile is ordained
    … … … A mere game of my past accretion

    अंत उन्नतीचा पतनीं होइ या जगात
    सर्व संग्रहाचा वत्सा, नाश हाच अंत
    वियोगार्थ मीलन होतें, नेम हा जगाचा

    … … … Every rise ends with a downfall in this world
    … … … Every accumulation my dear perishes in ruin
    … … … Meeting in seperation is a norm in this world

    जिवासवें जन्मे मृत्यू, जोड जन्मजात
    दिसे भासतो तें सारें विश्व नाशवंत
    काय शोक करिसी वेड्या, स्वप्निंच्या फळांचा ?

    … … … All living beings are bound by life and death
    … … … This illusion of a vast universe is perishable
    … … … What for do you regret the loss of dreams?

    तात स्वर्गवासी झाले, बंधु ये वनांत
    अतर्क्य ना झालें काहीं, जरी अकस्मात
    मरण-कल्पनेशीं थांबे तर्क जाणत्यांचा

    … … … Brother conveys in the forest, Father has expired
    … … … Not an irrational occurence though all of a sudden
    … … … The logic of knowers ends so at the idea of death

    जरामरण यांतुन सुटला कोण प्राणिजात ?
    दुःखमुक्त जगला का रे कुणी जीवनांत ?
    वर्धमान तें तें चाले मार्ग रे क्षयाचा

    … … … Who is ever spared from aging and death?
    … … … Has any one ever lived without suffering?
    … … … Even he who renounces life is extinguished

    दोन ओंडक्यांची होते सागरांत भेट
    एक लाट तोडी दोघां, पुन्हा नाहिं गांठ
    क्षणिक तेंवि आहे बाळा, मेळ माणसांचा

    … … … Two fragments meet by chance in the vast ocean
    … … … Once seperated by a wave, the twain never meet
    … … … A moment’s alliance, my child, is the life of humans

    नको आंसु ढाळूं आतां, पूस लोचनांस
    तुझा आणि माझा आहे वेगळा प्रवास
    अयोध्येंत हो तूं राजा, रंक मी वनींचा

    … … … Do not shed tears now, wipe away the grief
    … … … Yours and mine are different joruneys hereon
    … … … You King of Ayodhya, I a subject in the forest

    नको आग्रहानें मजसी परतवूंस व्यर्थ
    पितृवचन पाळून दोघे हो‍उं रे कृतार्थ
    मुकुटकवच धारण करिं, कां वेष तापसाचा

    … … … Do not persist on persuading me to return in vain
    … … … Let’s fulfill our father’s oath and gain his blessings
    … … … How can one wear a crown in the attire of a sage?

    संपल्याविना हीं वर्षें दशोत्तरीं चार
    अयोध्येस नाहीं येणें, सत्य हें त्रिवार
    तूंच एक स्वामी आतां राज्यसंपदेचा

    … … … Till the completion of ten years and four of exile
    … … … There’s no returning to Ayodhya, this is the truth
    … … … You, brother, are the sole patron of the kingdom

    पुन्हां नका येउं कोणी दूर या वनांत
    प्रेमभाव तुमचा माझ्या जागता मनांत
    मान वाढवी तूं लोकीं अयोध्यापुरीचा

    … … … Do not come again this far in the forest
    … … … My love for you is ever alive in my heart
    … … … Raise the glory of Ayodhya among people

    गीत – ग. दि. माडगूळकर
    Lyrics – G. D. Madgulkar

    संगीत – सुधीर फडके
    Music – Sudhir Phadke

    स्वर – सुधीर फडके
    Voice – Sudhir Phadke

    राग – यमन कल्याण
    Raag – Yaman Kalyan

    Translation Mine.

  17. Screenplay Episode 4

    [ The Slideshow begins ]

    Bush: Slideshow! Go on Maddy! Guys and Sonio, lend him your eyes and ears!

    [Kalmadi switches on the projector and turns off the room lights. Darkness. There is a loud thud on the table.]

    Sonio: Lights! Switch on the room lights! He is hit!!!

    [Light turns on again. Bush face is lying on the table buried under a huge garland]

    Bush (under the garland): Grrruuunnghhh… hhhmmmppphhh.. rrrrrgghhh… ggrrrr

    [General commotion. Voices. Bull’s eye Raja! Woof! Zzzzzz! Table tod diya ka?]

    [Sonio removes the garland. Bush looks up]

    Bush: I’m gonna kill ‘im! Get that Pee! Now!!

    Sonio: He’s gone.

    Bush: Catch ‘im! Fatty go get him.

    Srinivasan: Uh.. aa… mmm..

    Bush: Oh ok! Stay! Damn!

    Sonio: Send Barney

    Bush: Woofy?

    Sonio: yes

    Bush: No good. He has turned vegan. Call the US Marines. I want Action!

    [Enter officer holding Manmohan Singh by the neck]

    Bush: Ahhh! There you are guys. Did you get the Pee?

    Officer: Yes, Sir! Here he is!

    Manmohan: I am Pee. I am Pee.

    Bush: Officer! He is NOT Pee! He is… err… Sonio! Who is he?

    Sonio: Manmohan Singh

    Bush: Mammo. Right. Scoot officer! Get me that Pee rat! I’ll make ‘im eat these flowers!

    [Exit officer with Manmohan]

    Kalmadi: Shall I start the slideshow, Sir?

    Bush: Eh? Who? What?

    Kalmadi: Kalmadi. The Common Wealth.

    Sonio (Whispers to Bush):The Queen’s common wealth

    Bush: Ah yes! I know. Maddy, did you do the slideshow with the queen?

    Kalmadi: Huh?

    Sharmila: Never Mind

    Bush: Alright go on.

    [Kalmadi turns on the first slide. “Para Olympics”]

    Bush: Maddy!

    Kalmadi: Sir?

    Bush: What is para?

    Kalmadi: It is a Malayalam word, Sir. Pronounced as Paara!

    Bush: Is it? What is Malalalalam?

    Sharmila: Never Mind

    Bush (To Sharmila): Sure?

    Sharmila: Yes

    Bush: Okay, Maddy go on…

    (To be continued…)


  18. Dr. Aishwarya,

    Dear Sir / Madam:

    This is to inform you that your letter to Barney has been forwarded to him.

    You will hear from him shortly.

    We remain,

    Yours truly,

    On behalf of Barney’s “Save the Human” mission,


  19. Screenplay Episode 4 Contd

    [ Slideshow in progress ]

    Kalmadi (Reads screen): Deliver stools 2 times a day on each bed in each room.

    Bush: Hang on!

    Kalmadi: Er.

    Bush: Why stools? Why not chairs and tables?

    Kalmadi: Stools as in dog’s poo

    Bush: Oh.. poo.. okay… then say it in English… why stools?

    Kalmadi: Medical Doctor’s say stools for poo

    Bush: Do they? Barmy chaps. Go on.

    Kalmadi (Reads again): Deliver stools 2 times a day on each bed in each room.

    Bush: Two times a day? Is that a prescription?

    Kalmadi: No Sir. It is mine.

    Bush: Are you a doctor?

    Kalmadi: I doctored the games Sir.

    Bush: Okay. I get you. Go on.

    Kalmadi (Reads again): Deliver stools 2 times a day on each bed in each room.

    Bush: Who’ll deliver two times a day?

    Kalmadi: Srinivasan

    Bush: Who is the Sin Ass?

    Kalmadi: (Points to Srini): Him

    Bush: Oh yes. Fatty. Yes he can. Fatty, we can, eh?

    Sonio: That is Obama’s line.

    Bush: Is it? Who is Ob.. O I know.. yes.. he delivers two times a day.. he can..

    Sonio: In bed?

    Bush: I don’t know, do you?

    Sonio: No.

    Bush: Good. Go on Maddy!

    Kalmadi (Reads again): Deliver stools 2 times a day on each bed in each room.

    Bush: How?

    Kalmadi: Sir?

    Bush: Common Sense buddy…

    Kalmadi: Common Wealth Sir

    Bush: Sense! How will Fatty deliver in bed? Are you putting commodes there?

    Kalmadi: Fatty is good Sir. He delivers anywhere. From Chennai to Calcutta.

    Bush: Really? Fatty!

    Srinivasan: Unnnhhh?

    Bush: Don’t you deliver under this table. Woofy! Watch him.

    Barney: Whooo?

    Bush: Watch Fatty.

    Barney: Ooo.

    Bush: I know. He stinks.

    Barney: Woof

    Bush: Go on Maddy

    Kalmadi (Reads again): Deliver stools 2 times a day on each bed in each room.

    Bush: Why only rooms? Why not corridors, tracks, roofs, lifts and all?

    Kalmadi: Huh?

    Bush: Open your eyes man! Listen carefully. I asked, Why not all the areas?

    Kalmadi: Sir, there are 1500 beds, 200 corridors, 24 lifts.

    Bush: So?

    Kalmadi: 2 times a day in each is 3448 times a day. Srini can’t take that load.

    Bush: Fatty! Can you?

    Srinivasan: Uunnnhhhh

    Bush: You are right Maddy. He can’t. What say guys?! Shall we contribute?

    All Together: Aye, Aye!

    Bush: Let’s just do it, eh? All over Delhi!

    Kalmadi: Thank you, all. The government can help too Sir.

    Bush: What? Who is the government?

    Sonio (smiles): I am

    Bush (pats her behind): Et tu Sonio! Join the party!

    Kalmadi: She is the Party Sir!

    Bush (smiles): Really. Don’t I know!

    Sonio (To Kalmadi): Move on. Show the next slide.

    (To be continued..)


  20. Screenplay Episode 4 Contd

    [ The slide show in progress ]

    Kalmadi (Reads): Allow one dog for each bed in each room

    Bush: Hang on! Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes honey?

    Bush: How many dogs have you got?

    Sonio: 262

    Bush: Maddy, do we need more?

    Kalmadi: We need about 3000

    Bush: Guys! Open forum…. except Fatty here… Fatty! Stay shut!

    [General buzz]

    Bush: Quiet I say! Now, each one manage 300. Is that a deal?

    Kalmadi: Thank you, Sir!

    Bush: This is business sonny. Double or quits. Deal?

    Sonio: How about you?

    Bush: Me?

    Sonio: How will you get 300?

    Bush: Don’t ya worry babe. For a real buck I’ll get ya the Buck-in-ham palace!

    Kalmadi: I have the TV media! They are already on the job!

    Bush: Are they? Good move. Howz it going?

    Kalmadi: Double bull! They do it and also show it on TV! With Rahman’s music!

    Bush: Don’t I know! Did that with CNN to Al Gore’s Apocalypse! Move on.

    Kalmadi (Reads next slide): Ensure roof tiles collapse every now and then

    Bush: Eh? Collapse where?

    Kalmadi: To the floor

    Bush: What’s the big deal? Tiles should be on the floor anyway?

    Kalmadi: Roof tiles Sir! Thermocol tiles?

    Bush (Shakes his head) No good.

    Kalmadi: We are doing our best Sir!

    Bush: Not enough, Maddy! Have the whole roof down! That’s News!

    Kalmadi: Thank you, Sir! You are brilliant.

    Bush: I know… Sonio! Don’t I know?

    Sonio: Do you?

    Sharmila: Never Mind

    Bush: Yes. Move on, Maddy! Next.

    Kalmadi (Reads): Destabilize all bridges at the venue.

    Bush: What’s the point? Why?

    Kalmadi: No bridges no traffic, no traffic no viewers, no viewers no games.

    Bush: What about TV?

    Kalmadi: Err..

    Bush: Ban the TV!

    Kalmadi: Err.. how?

    Bush: Terror!

    Kalmadi: Huh?

    Bush: Get a terrorist in a TV crew. Arrest him. And pass a law!

    Sonio: O genius!

    Bush: Peanuts baby. Guys! Are we ready?! Give me an ‘Aye’

    All together: Aye!

    Bush: Here we go! And now I shall address the State of the Nation and the state of Fatty.


    (To be continued..)


  21. Screenplay Episode 4

    [Bush addresses state of nation and Srinivasan]

    Bush: Friends, guys, ladies, gentlemen and Sonio. On this day, prescribed by law and marked by ceremony, we celebrate the durable wisdom of our Constitution and recall the deep commitments that unite us all. Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes honey?

    Bush: What is this?

    Sonio: What?

    Bush: What law and ceremony? What is durable wisdom?

    Sonio: Skip that. What next?

    Bush: Deep commitments that bind us all… Yes i can understand that. Money!

    Sonio: Yes.

    Bush (Reads the speech): I am grateful for the honor of this hour… Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes honey?

    Bush: Am I grateful? What honor of this hour? Is this happy hour?

    Sonio: Yes honey

    Bush: You mean the Beer is free? Okay.. grateful for this happy hour… mindful of the consequential times in which we live… Sonio! What is consequential times?… What time is it?

    Sonio: It’s pastime

    Bush: Okay… if you say so… and determined to fulfill the oath that I have sworn and you have witnessed… Sonio! What oath? When did I swear?

    Sonio: You called Barney a son of a B@#$h…

    Bush: I did? But he is a son of a.. he is a dog! Does that count as swearing?

    Sonio: Yes. Animal rights.

    Bush: Okay…. (continues speech) At this gathering, our duties are defined not by the words I use.. Sonio! What is this? not defined by my words?… then why I am saying these words?

    Sonio: Read on. It explains.

    Bush: Sure? Okay… but by the history we have seen together…. ah yes… you are right.. history.. this Fatty has some history… and Maddy is writing one… and the buffaloe hunter… and the 4 Pee… where is Pee..?… lotsa history guys… At this hour of crisis, it pains me to take this decision…. Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes honey?

    Bush: What pains me? The pain is in Fatty’s bladder..

    Sonio: Read on. You’ll know

    Bush: Okay… But, the call of duty supersedes everything else… Sonio!.. you mean call of money, right? (winks at Sonio)… okay… what does this say.. lets see.. We must airlift Srini and Barney to New Delhi… Holy Mother of Pee!… Sonio!

    Sonio: Yes honey!

    Bush: Do we need to airlift Woofy with Fatty?

    Sonio: Yes. Srinivasan has to be watched.

    Bush: Hmm.. you are right… Woofy!

    Barney: Wauuu?

    Bush: Be with him.

    Barney: Oooo

    Bush: I know… Sonio! get the plane on the runway… Mission Fatty begins now!

    Sonio (smiles): Yes sweetheart!


    (To be continued…)


  22. Aishwarya,

    We deeply regret that we are unable to put your call through to Barney at this moment. He is pestering Madam Sonio to see his mama…

  23. The Sun is disappearing west…. another weekend comes to a close. It’s been fun… Friends, Dabbang, Bush & Co, books, housekeeping and some phone calls to India.

    Have you noticed one thing?…. While looking at the setting sun… something seems to go away with it.

    Though… I know there will always be a tomorrow… There will be light again… Still something seems to go away everyday…. Is it just time or is it something else?

    Time for a retro, Reader…

  24. A blast from the past…

    Not much has changed though… except that dreams have more colors these days…

    Magical voice of Talat… measured notes… perfect lyrics… soulful ambience…

  25. Time to hit the sack soon. Shall work for money tomorrow.

    Does a dream bring sleep or sleep bring dreams? Wonder…

  26. Seems like an away-day on the blog!

    At least I’ll be away for the next two. Going as an external auditor to the field.

    But in the last few visits I have learnt a few tricks of finding a way to the net.

    See? I never do anything for mere indulgence!

    Shall sign off now. Pre-dawn flight. Here’s one for the road… Good Night and Good day!

  27. And who said I am going to wait for a new post? I am bitten by the angel bug. You know, na? I simply open the page and start typing…

    For the first time in 19 years I felt like a stranger in the desert for a moment.

    I still remember my first day here. The old ATR folker aircraft, a level strip of sand for landing, a 40 feet plywood porta-cabin for an airport and a vast endless sea of blowsand all around.

    I had nothing but my die-hard romanticism to survive. And curiously, that was about all that I needed. I loved the possibilities. I loved the feeling of letting go!

    I loved the desert. It’s quiet isolation. It’s merciless environment. And the opportunities I had to tame this wilderness!

    Like Vritra subdued by Indra!

    The desert blew heat and dust. We built air-conditioned houses. The desert threatened us at night with scorpions, rats and snakes. We illuminated the nights with electricity. The desert had no directions. People got lost and died of thirst and starvation. We drilled water wells, installed treatment plants and mapped the terrain with roads.

    But, today, I felt like a stranger.

    There it was. The desert. I had landed in a Boeing jet on a regular asphalt runway. The airport is now designed to meet international traffic. Armed guards stand at the gates where we slept under tents in the afternoon.

    The roads are all black-top. The desert has shrunk to a few scattered acacia in the distance. There is greenary along the main roads. And the most surprising thing is that there is no horizon. There are water tanks, telecom towers, oil rigs and building silhouettes against the sky.

    The occassional camel, who would stop our vehicles and look closely at us earlier, today trudges past with casual disdain.

    Where is that desert? Was that a dream? Or is this one? What have we done?

    I look at my driver next to me who is a local bedouin.

    He is so pleased with all this. All the past generations in his family have lived in the desert. But he doesn’t miss the past.

    His children go to school. His house is made of bricks and concrete. He drives a Landcruiser. He worships his God, thanks Him and thanks the people who make the earth habitable for him and his family.

    I wanted to know why.

    “Don’t you miss the desert life? You grew up among the cactus!” I asked in broken Arabic

    “Ofcourse, I know how to live among the cactus” he said with a smile.

    “Don’t you miss the easy life? Is this not more work?”

    “No” he said, “This is life . This is the reality. This is our work. This is beautiful. ( idda hayya!

    I looked away and out of the window at the slow spinning field of pipelines.

    I smiled. I suddenly realised what I was going to write today on your page.

    I was going to write this man’s words. “This is the reality. This is our work. This is beautiful” idda hayya! This is life

    And about twenty years ago I had left my country and landed in this desert feeling exactly the same. I had not thought of these words then, just felt them.

    This is the reality – Satyam; This is our work – Shivam; This is beautiful – Sundaram.

  28. Reader,

    I guess it takes the real poet’s soul to see the beauty among the asphalt, pipelines and towers.

    I will keepy romantic notions of nature witout steel and concrete.

    The challenge of today, iny opinion, is to let both coexist, to make today’s bedouin’s life good and also give his children and grandchildren the chance to experience life among the cacti.

  29. Apologies, my comment was made from the iPhone, and often, when I want to type an ‘m’, my finger hits the delete key. ‘Keepy’, ‘iny’, rads as ‘keep my’ and ‘in my’.

  30. ‘reads’ instead of ‘rads’

    Reader, your body may be in the desert, but your spirit spooks here!

  31. Renate,

    I simply do not understand what you mean by notional romanticism. What is a romantic notion? Sounds impersonal, what is it?

    I use the term ‘Romanticism’ as defined by Ayn Rand.


    Romanticism is a category of art based on the recognition of the principle that man possesses the faculty of volition.

    Romanticism is the conceptual school of art. It deals, not with the random trivia of the day, but with the timeless, fundamental, universal problems and values of human existence. It does not record or photograph; it creates and projects. It is concerned—in the words of Aristotle—not with things as they are, but with things as they might be and ought to be.

    What the Romanticists brought to art was the primacy of values, an element that had been missing in the stale, arid, third- and fourth-hand (and rate) repetitions of the Classicists’ formula-copying. Values (and value-judgments) are the source of emotions; a great deal of emotional intensity was projected in the work of the Romanticists and in the reactions of their audiences, as well as a great deal of color, imagination, originality, excitement and all the other consequences of a value-oriented view of life. This emotional element was the most easily perceivable characteristic of the new movement and it was taken as its defining characteristic, without deeper inquiry.

    Such issues as the fact that the primacy of values in human life is not an irreducible primary, that it rests on man’s faculty of volition, and, therefore, that the Romanticists, philosophically, were the champions of volition (which is the root of values) and not of emotions (which are merely the consequences)—were issues to be defined by philosophers, who defaulted in regard to esthetics as they did in regard to every other crucial aspect of the nineteenth century.

    The still deeper issue, the fact that the faculty of reason is the faculty of volition, was not known at the time, and the various theories of free will were for the most part of an anti-rational character, thus reinforcing the association of volition with mysticism.

    In recent times, some literary historians have discarded, as inadequate, the definition of Romanticism as an emotion-oriented school and have attempted to redefine it, but without success. Following the rule of fundamentality, it is as a volition-oriented school that Romanticism must be defined—and it is in terms of this essential characteristic that the nature and history of Romantic literature can be traced and understood.

    It is only the superficiality of the Naturalists that classifies Romanticism as “an escape”; this is true only in the very superficial sense of contemplating a glamorous vision as a relief from the gray burden of “real-life” problems. But in the deeper, metaphysical-moral-psychological sense, it is Naturalism that represents an escape—an escape from choice, from values, from moral responsibility—and it is Romanticism that trains and equips man for the battles he has to face in reality.

    It must be noted that philosophers contributed to the confusion surrounding the term “Romanticism.” They attached the name “Romantic” to certain philosophers (such as Schelling and Schopenhauer) who were avowed mystics advocating the supremacy of emotions, instincts or will over reason. This movement in philosophy had no significant relation to Romanticism in esthetics, and the two movements must not be confused.


    All Ayn Rand, Ibid.

    When I say I am a die-hard romantic I mean this.

  32. Reader,

    Webster is more familiar to me than Ayn Rand and often defines my choice of words.

    Romantic \Ro*man”tic\, a. [F. romantique, fr. OF. romant. See Romance.]

    Of or pertaining to romance; involving or resembling romance; hence, fanciful; marvelous; extravagant; unreal; as, a romantic tale; a romantic notion; a romantic undertaking. [1913 Webster]

    • I look for the meaning of words when I open my eyes and see things around me.

      For example, do you think Rodin’s Thinker, the famous bronze & marble sculpture in Paris, is fanciful, marvelous, extravagant, unreal as defined in the Webster Dictionary?

      I think it is romantic as described by Ayn Rand.

      • Forget the unreal part.

        This is real and I simply want to protect it.

      • Well, you are not doing a good job of protecting.

        The incissors are scaled. The pre-molars need to be removed. The molars need a root canal. The canine teeth are wonky.

        The dentist has hit a jack-pot!


  33. Renate,


    You mean like this:

  34. No, more like this:

  35. You think I should have listened to my teachers more?

  36. Oh no!

    Wrong embed above!!! Sorry, this was meant to go as answer to Rodin.

    • Wait for a few more years.

      The plantations that we have imported from India and Africa have already begun to cause tropical rains in the desert.

      By 2014, this desert is going to see monsoons every year between June and August.

      Very soon you’ll see this kind of videos being made in the Middle East.

      Unfortunatley we cannot do this above the 60 deg latitude in the Northern Hemisphere.

      By the way the steel and concrete is not imported from mars or Jupiter. It’s mined and refined from the earth. Only, instead of making paintings and statues they are used for making roads, buildings and bridges.

      The Oil & Natural Gas Industry does not need the surface of the earth. They produce their goods from 4 – 7 Kms inside the earth and through a 6 inch borehole.

      I feel the romanticism of Engineering and Medicine are doing a greater service to mankind than the frivolous trivialism of painters, poets and entertainers.

      • Reader,
        Romanticism in my opinion in short and sweet would be ” You are all I long for, all I worship and adore…”
        Whether be it for a subject, an object, a person, nature or God…
        Painters, poets and entertainers are sort of ‘Dream Merchants’….
        take it or leave it…..kind..!
        and after all everyone has their particular place in life. One can’t replace another.

      • Ha ha, love the last line. I am inclined to pass this around.

  37. Sharmila,
    Just read your tweet about ‘Bed collapse’….pathetically funny..! I could practcally picture that event in my mind. 🙂
    How they mismanaged everything successfully….! Is it really a scam for money or to tarnish India’s image internationally..? which is not very bright anyway…
    BTW…who is funding the entire CWG show…?
    Who is and will remain the owner of the entire CWG village..even after the show is over…? I am bit lost on this entire concept…

    • The taxpayer is funding this nonsense. It is a 10,000 crore scam, a great incentive for me to not pay my taxes in India, no matter what, even if Rajnikanth puts a gun on my head.

      • Sharmila,
        The figure I heard is quite bigger than the one you mentioned here.
        My question is /was
        1. Does CWG comitee provide any funding from overseas or the host country has to bear all the/entire expenses..?
        2. The entire village is built on about 120 acres of land in capital city of India. Does that remain the property of Indian Gov. or would that be considered the property of CWG…?
        Haha…shall try that Rajnikanth thing atleast once..! hehe…don’t forget to let me know ahead of time…would that be a pretty sight to watch or what..!? Just kiddin’…. 🙂

      • The CWG village is a tie up with EMAAR and the flats get sold off after the games. Funding for everything is from India’s coffers. The units/apartments will be privately held, I am not sure what the land rights would be. I think they will remain vested with the Govt.

  38. Anand Khare Says:


    Thanks for the translations. I was travelling hence couldn’t show my gratitude in time. Lot of work has been done on this site in last 3-4 days. It will take time to catch up.

    Assorted CWG jokes like Ajit jokes or Siddhu jokes,

    The CWG organising committee has taken the word ‘village’ a little too seriously.

    To the Common-wealth Games’ committee: Dilli badnaam hui, darling tere liye!

    Will there ever be any light at the end of the tunnel for the CWG, or has the tunnel collapsed as well?

    CWG: yahan khuda hai, wahan khuda hai… idhar khuda hai , udhar khuda hai… jahan nahin khuda hain, wahan kal khudega…

    Kalmadi’s favourite song: CWG ki naiya hai Ram ke bharose, apni bhi naiya ko paar tu lagayi de.

    Issued in public interest: When walking near CWG venues or while watching the Games IN the stadium, kindly wear a helmet all the time.

    Asuvidha ke liye khel hai.

    Rain, rain, go away, Suresh Calamity wants to play.

    Indian bridge is falling down, falling down…

    CWG: “Clogged Water Games”.

    This is not rain but tears of Shera, our friendly neighbourhood CWG mascot!

    Breaking News: Shera spotted at Delhi Airport trying to flee the country



  39. Haha…Anand..! Those are funny quotes…! sad however…!

  40. Anand Khare Says:


    Thanks for liking it.


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