A Happy New Year….

May the new year 2011 be a harbinger of peace, love, joy, good health,luck and prosperity for you and your families. Drink, eat , be merry , party, but don’t drive.  And I leave this year with a wish list for the next. Alas, I only wish…

I WISH TO SEE (  in no particular order  )….

Pritish Nandy pen more love poems

Not much of Sonia

Raja set up a foundation for the blind

Kalmadi starting an academy for underprivileged atheletes

Manmohan Singh explaining to Tiger Woods the exact meaning of a “handicap”

Jaya campaigning in a skimpy Versace evening gown

Karunanidhi campaigning without his sunglasses

CBI opening more cases than what it closes

Sreeshanth dance less and play more cricket

More records broken by Tendulkar

Rahul Gandhi marrying an Adivaasi

Shahrukh kiss KJO on the coffee show

KJO blushing after the kiss

Lot less of Sheila and Munni

Lot less of Barkha Dutt

Lot less of Radia

More closed gates

Lot more of the common man

The Maoists training a lot less

A Robot making Rajnikanth

Nitish Kumar wearing the cow belt

Lalit Modi writing a book ” In and out of the IPL”

Tharoor writing a book ” In and out of the IPL too ”

Salman Khan host Big Boss 5

Amitabh Bachchan host KBC 5

A feminine Dolly Bindra

Cheaper Onions

PC shed his whites

Lot less of Yeddy and Reddy

Lot less of Shahrukh

Lot more of Abhishek

Meaningful hindi movies

Less botox on the starlets

More botox for the above 80’s club of Neta’s

Myself writing more

Lot less traffic

Lot less 20 20

Lot more Tests

Lot less Bollywood stars playing judge Judy

Lot more trees

Lot more free animals

Lot less humans

Lot more love…….

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66 Responses to “A Happy New Year….”

  1. Wish A Very Happy and Prosperous 2011 to you and EF

    My tasks and targets for 2011.

    1. Start a Primary Health Care center in Hosur

    2. Sign a contract with Arya Samaj, BLR

    3. Sign a contract with ISKCON, New Delhi

    4. Diversify/spread the investment portfolio

    5. Register an NGO

    6. Find a suitable media manager

    7. Meet Sharmila and EF

    8. Stop smoking and practice levitation

    9. Sell the cars and buy a horse

  2. Wish A Very Happy and Prosperous 2011 to you and EF

    My wish list for India at large:

    1. May the nation find good reasons for establishing peace

    2. Hope that mothers are not required to work and pay for their survival

    3. Hope children do not have to work for educating themselves

    4. Hope the poor can afford a healthy family

    5. Hope justice prevails among the haves & have-nots so theres no need for police and courts.

    6. Hope the economy and currency are protected from Jews in the US Senate

    7. Hope politicians recognize that very soon people will prefer invaders to them

    8. Hope food. clothing, shelter and education are listed in fundamental rights

    9. Hope development of new technology is allowed within the country and not forced to be imported.

    10. Hope the media and cinema are not required for entertainment.

  3. Muraliraja Says:

    Sharmila,
    I wish you & EF A Happy & Prosperous New Year 🙂

    Your “Wish to see” list is funny, interesting & almost(in my opinion) match common man’s wish list.(Though I will politely disagree with you in 2 points from your list)
    Anyway, its your list & I really wish your wish list becomes a reality & we get enough laughs(OMG! Jaya, Manmohan, Rahul….can’t wait for that day)
    Okay. On a serious note, let us all make this world a better place. Happy New Year…..

    • Happy New Year Murali! How was happening Channai for New Years?

      • Muraliraja Says:

        Never been in Chennai on New Years eve. But I here Chennaiites celebrated peacefully. I was in train, traveling from Chennai to Coimbatore to meet my parents. For me the year started with sore throat & cold. Though not a great start I’m sure this year is going to be an interesting one. How was yours?

      • Oh Ok. Been to Coimbatore a few years back on audit to the Brooke Bond factory. I love the sri krishna Mysore paak, the best in the world! My New years was calm, a quiet dinner with friends. Saw MMA yesterday, I quite liked it. It is not rib tickling funny in the least but taken well. Second half is better. Wish Crazy Mohan penned the dialogues.

      • Muraliraja Says:

        Indeed Crazy Mohan has penned dialogues for some comic portions in the film. He was not credited(Reason unknown). Glad you had a quite new year. Btw, Ppl always praise about(along with few other things) Sri Krishna Mysore paak when I mention Coimbatore. Hope my home town treated you well!?

      • CBE treated me well.. the people bribed me with Mysore Paak..I loved the hand loom materials there too. Besides, we would drive to Ooty from CBE which made it all the more perfect

      • I though Mohan was not a part of it..maybe, he was instrumental for the second part which was funnier than the first!

  4. Wish you A Very Happy New Year….Sharmila,Reader & All…

    I can wish for million good things…to happen around….however…
    I don’t know what to wish for anymore under the current situation of the entire world…
    Don’t like to sound like a pessimist but can’t be an optimist keeping false hopes…either…
    To hope for getting the things better on its own sounds very unrealistic & too much to ask for….All I can wish for ….it shouldn’t deteriorate any further….(that sounds unrealistic too…right…!?) 🙂
    Well….then…! will try to make a list too…bit later though..!
    Wish you all …joy & Happiness again…

  5. Shambhavi Says:

    Dear Sharmila, Reader & All.

    Wish You All a very cheerful 2011!!

    Very interesting wish lists and I WISH they become true.

    • Thanks Shambhavi!

    • Thank you Shambhavi,

      Now to create the opportunities!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Shambhavi Says:

        Dear Reader,

        create the opportunities!!!????

        I am a dumb headed person

      • Shambhavi,

        A wish needs to be followed up, na? Dare to dream and then chase it like a matador in the collosium.

        Opportunities have to be created for the wishes to shape up.

        Oppportunities are like the potters wheel. Turn it hard and fast, place a wish on it and hold it gently. It acquires a wonderful shape!

        🙂

  6. My takes on Sharmila’s wishes:

    Pritish Nandy pen more love poems: You are spoiling him, Sharmila. He may actually do that!

    Not much of Sonia: Amen.

    Raja set up a foundation for the blind: For the deaf too. Telephones are not used by the deaf.

    Kalmadi starting an academy for underprivileged atheletes: Using his own money

    Manmohan Singh explaining to Tiger Woods the exact meaning of a “handicap”: Mammo reports to three women, the President, Pratibha Patil, Sonio and his wife. He could teach Tiger Woods how to come out of the pits!

    Jaya campaigning in a skimpy Versace evening gown: She’ll win with sweeping majority. But she may be disqualified later for emotional blackmail.

    Karunanidhi campaigning without his sunglasses: His eyeballs have the dollar sign in place of pupils. Raja’s foundation for the blind will get a boost

    CBI opening more cases than what it closes: Opening suits and cases or suitcases?

    Sreeshanth dance less and play more cricket: He is a good dancer. I’d prefer he leaves cricket and joins Tharoor on the dias as a cheer leader for Kochi IPL.

    More records broken by Tendulkar: Amen

    Rahul Gandhi marrying an Adivaasi: or Mayawati or Mamta or Jaya, same thingy no?

    Shahrukh kiss KJO on the coffee show: You mean Karan Johar? Is that allowed? Pairs and couples don’t kiss in public.

    KJO blushing after the kiss: Why would KJO blush? I thought he is the man.

    Lot less of Sheila and Munni: That is an anti-national sentiment, Sharmila. You are fired.

    Lot less of Barkha Dutt: Amen. She needs to do the gym more often.

    Lot less of Radia: Amen. She needs to go back to UK.

    More closed gates: Amen. More Bill Gates and less media-gates

    Lot more of the common man: Amen.

    The Maoists training a lot less: More tribals in schools and colleges

    A Robot making Rajnikanth: Not possible. Rajni run, then endhiran

    Nitish Kumar wearing the cow belt: He is busy milking Laloo’s cows

    Lalit Modi writing a book ” In and out of the IPL”: He will surely. A best-seller.

    Tharoor writing a book ” In and out of the IPL too “: He is not yet out of IPL. He just married Sunanda Pushkar. He’ll be in and out for some more time.

    Salman Khan host Big Boss 5: Salman is the freakiest Khan. Shahrukh, Aamir and Saif are at least married.

    Amitabh Bachchan host KBC 5: Same as Pritish Nandy’s poetry.

    A feminine Dolly Bindra: She has a heart of gold! More femininity might remove the lustre.

    Cheaper Onions: Amen. But where can you get educated politicians?

    PC shed his whites: Make him the Finance Minister. He’ll wear green.

    Lot less of Yeddy and Reddy: Bury them in the mines.

    Lot less of Shahrukh: Disagree. He is better than Dabbang and Ghajini

    Lot more of Abhishek: He should take up photography. So we’ll see more of his work and less of himself.

    Meaningful hindi movies: Mission Impossible

    Less botox on the starlets: Then, what will we pay for?

    More botox for the above 80′s club of Neta’s: Botox for the brains?

    Myself writing more: Amen

    Lot less traffic: More strategieis to work from home

    Lot less 20 20: Plus more 50-50 and cheer leaders after each ball

    Lot more Tests: Plus separate channel for cheer leaders

    Lot less Bollywood stars playing judge Judy: Playing Sheila and Munni instead

    Lot more trees: Amen

    Lot more free animals: Amen

    Lot less humans: Disagree. Less inter state migration.

    Lot more love…….: Please wait you are in the queue!

    🙂

  7. Shambhavi Says:

    Sharmila,

    indiaagainstcorruption.com/

    Hope you know about this initiative.

    • Shambhavi,

      I know the group. None of the active members are Members of Parliament – they are no elected by the people.

      No movement that is lead by “intellectuals” can make any difference to the body politic.

      I have a plan. It may take a decade but it will work. Trust me.

      The only people who can eradicate corruption is the corrupt themselves. I am pursuing that. Walk the mile with them. They love people. They love power. They can make the change.

      • I am a Gandhian. Jadoo ki jhappi works for me!

        🙂

      • Shambhavi Says:

        Reader,
        Dont you think the lokpal bill if passed can be an effective tool?

      • There has already been a lokpal bill in all the states. It is only not in the center at Delhi.

        It has not worked in the states, it will not work in the center.

        A common man cannot lodge a complaint against the local MP or Corporator without side effects?

        The machinery that a politcian holds at his/her command is brutal, both the legitimate and the other types.

        The anti-corruption NGO are trying to make that machinery accountable to the people, which is quixotic in my opinion.

        The administration does not make corruption possible or impossible. The politician does. Making laws will not prevent corruption. The politician and his electorate can.

        Robinhoods cannot de-throne a ruler. The ruler himself/herself can be made to give up his/her powers.

        There is a historical precedence to what I am saying. It occured in 1215 in England when the land owners forced the King to sign the Magna Carta.

        Its been done before. It can be done again. The method has to be customised.

    • Thanks for bringing this to my attention. Most useful.

  8. Shambhavi Says:

    Reader,

    I hope your theory works. Oh yeah I remember about the Magna Carta.

    Our political system, be in the center or in the states is so deep rooted in corruption, it will take years for the ruler to make changes. The ruler has gotten used to it. The decent ruler will not last long or will be ineffective.

    I was reading the lokpal bill and you are right one cannot make complaints against the local MPs and corporaters. However, when it is introduced in the center, amendments can be made in the bill. I heard Ms. Kiran Bedi saying so in one of the TV discussions. I feel however, such amendments will not be allowed as it is going to limit the powers of the powerful.

  9. Shambhavi,

    I am sure the Magna Carta method works. Only it has to read in the current scenario.

    See, there are four levels of corruption in a liberal democracy, as I see them:

    Level 1. Between: Government and Multinational companies; Means: Lobbyists

    Level 2. Between: Government and native industrialists; Means: Bureaucrats

    Level 3. Between: Government and Enterpreuners; Means: Middlemen

    Level 4. Between: Government and general citizens; Means: Touts

    I will state the modus operandi in the reverse order:

    Level 4: Most common places where touts work in:

    a. Occupation and allotment illegal slums and government land to migrant population

    b. Ration Card offices

    c. RTO offices

    d. Government School admissions

    e. Municipal Corporations

    f. Sub-Registrars offices for small land records

    g. Water and Electricity boards

    h. Session Courts

    i. LPG supply

    j. Small real estate agents

    The corruption at these points works on the customers ability to pay, not on demand and supply. Slum dwellers get the services for a few rupees because they vote sincerely during the elections for ten rupees and a bottle of rum.

    Middle class persons have to give a months income because they don’t vote during elections anyway.

    A neo-rich has to pay more because they cannot be trusted during elections.

    A real rich gets these services free.

    Level 3

    Corruption between the government and the enterpreuner begins with access to information. All the information is provided through middle men.

    Level 2

    Government and the native industrialist are responsible for the net cash flow in the market. They control the people’s access to money through various streams. Corruption between them is caused by uncertainties, mistrust and competition.

    Level 1

    Corruption between government and multinationals is brokered by the World Bank and the IMF, and facilitated by their embassies in each country. They control the flow of ‘surplus’ goods of one country to another. Developing and under-developed countries create the ‘surplus’ on paper and sell the basic necessities of their citizens.

    ===

    Political power, Faith and Force are enablers at all levels. These are both sources & means of corruption.

    For a person who becomes a law maker by election or one who becomes a moral policemen of Faith or one who becomes a warlord by keeping gangs, the motivation is the same – creation and sustenance of a private fiefdom that is not accountable to the common man and their adversaries.

    Success or failures like Mayawati or Raja respectively, does not deter their next generation from improving on the ways and means.

    ===

    Hundreds of years ago the Magna Carta was agreed between the King and feudal lords. Today it has to be agreed between the leader and the voters in each constituency.

    • Shambhavi Says:

      Reader,

      I agree about the levels of corruption. But I feel what India lacks is competent leadership. Yatha Raja Tatha praja.

      Church played a very important role during King John’s rule in England. Magna carta was signed after there was an immense pressure from the church if I remember correctly.

      • Shambhavi,

        True. The English Church had its own agenda in the drafting of the Charter. The very first clause was devoted to the freedom of the Church.

        In India, religion has played consort to the ruler since the stone age.

        But we live in modern times. Most countries have separated political governance and religion systematically. Science has also separated philosophy and religion. Which is a good thing on the whole. Religion has been marginalized because of its own doings.

        The role of the church in the Magna Carta must now be played by nationalists – people who do not believe in territorial or linguistic states – who can ensure that the poor man’s beliefs and ethics benefit him in a just way, regardless of class, caste, creed or region.

  10. Sharmila,

    Today is the first day of the year. Do a good deed today.

    Here are your options:

    1. Stop a city bus and spank the driver for rash driving.

    2. Steal the traffic policeman’s cap at the Lalbaug signal.

    3. Call the Air Traffic Control at BLR airport and request politely for a parking space for your car.

    4. Go to your primary school and ring the bell.

    5. Take 2 dozen cows for grazing on the Golf Course.

    Make the year memorable, do a deed unforgetable!

    🙂

  11. The story of my life:

    I walked blind-folded in a lighted house, stumbled and hurt myself and after I recovered, I searched for the light everywhere else except my own house…!!!

  12. Calling it a day…. Dead tired… Drifting into nothingness… Good Night or Good Morning… as applicable… what is dearer to me that is not me?

    Signing off now… back tomorrow… if there is one…

  13. Sharmila,

    Good Morning. The tomorrow that I dreamed of yesterday is here.

    Last day of my visit here. Waiting for breakfast and the station wagon to fill up. Driving by road to the airstrip and then fly back to the city. Shall be on and off line – at the mercy of the satellites in heaven.

    12 hours of travel time. Can’t remain idle. Thinking of something to think.

    May be I’ll write an algorithm for writing an algorithm. Howzzat for time pass?

    Why is the page static? Where are you? Where is MonaLisa? Where are Aishwarya, Lakshmi, Saurabh, Shubha, Anand? Haven’t heard them wish. Or is that it?

    Chalo, hum chalte hain.. battery is low.. gen-set was off last night… lappy is not charged…

    Back soon…

  14. Good Morning…..Reader..! I m right here…! Will catch you later…Wish you and all Happy 1111….
    Oops…! prolly its over wherever you are…! Never mind…I m still enjoying it ecstatically… 🙂

    • Good Morning…..MonaLisa..!

      Just landed. Back to human habitat after almost a week in the dunes. The desert is not as empty as one may imagine from satellite pictures.

      Its full of all sorts of creatures. Its occupied by insects in the sand, snakes, foxes and large caravans of naked camels – none of these have any regard for a well dressed human being.

      I am too tired to go on… Its been a long exhausting journey back to civilisation… barely able to keep my eyes open… feel like a 70 year old dithering in my sleep…. nodding off… I hate aging… pray that I wake up tomorrow 20 years younger or not at all…

      Bhadram karnebhi shrunuyaam devah,
      Bhadram pashyemaaksh abhir yajatra,
      Sthir angayr stusthavaam swathnubhih,
      Vyashema devahitam yadayuhu |

      Swatinah indro vriddhashravah,
      Swasti nah pusha vishwadevah,
      Swasti nastaksharyo aristhanebhi,
      Swasti nah brihaspatih daddhatu ||

      Shanti Shanti Shanti

      Translation: “Good Night…”

      • GoodMorn/Eve….Reader…!
        Welcome back from Dune to your Den….!
        But….First…A Big Shuuuuushhh……on not waking up at all…Don’t ya ever say that…! 😦
        {We can deal with older version of yours..(on net..!) 🙂 }
        Age is just a number…& I am pretty sure…Your heart & mind are not affected … or aged out yet…so cheer….! May this year ’11 brings more youth and meaning to your life like….Fountain of energy and power…! 🙂

        PS: You are so hung up with nakedness…! Reminds me of someone….! 🙂
        BTW you could have taken the chance to be like ppl/animals for a change to match up with your surroundings…! No Biggy…! 🙂

        Your translation to 9 long lines is sweet but too short…is it not..!? 🙂
        Thank God for the language…English…!
        Think what happens …if one has to say Good Night …that very long way…every night…! One might start snoring before its finished…! 🙂

  15. Anand Khare Says:

    Happy new year 2011 everybody. I am escaping the chill of the north and enjoying safe heavens of south. Sorry for delay.

    Regards,

    Anand

  16. MonaLisa,

    Goooooooooodddddddd Mmmmmaaaaaawwwwwwwnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnn!!!

    Just ignore me when I am tired and sleepy. I have no clue what I say or write in that state.

    The morning is bright, there is a brand new Sun in the sky, God’s in His Hevaen and Alls Right with the World…..!!!!!

    O yes, I envy wild animals. They walk free. They don’t have to walk on two legs, wear clothes or speak English! Its so unfair. I have to do all that just to get cooked food 3 times a day.

    I do match up with the surroundings in my own way. I have been in this region for 18 years. I have learnt some tricks from the native bedouins. If you ever come to the desert I’ll teach you some.

    Cheeeeeeeeerrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiioooooooooooooooo!!!!!

  17. 🙂 Reader,
    Very Good Morning….to you…! Nice change in your mood…seems you definitely had a good dreamy sleep… 🙂
    Lol…! Why should you be ignored whenever…in any state….!!!!!????? 🙂
    Omg…! you envy animals…for having four legs…!? 🙂
    They envy us…i believe….!!! Who gets free lunches anyway…!? Poor Lion & Tiger have to run after a deer or bison for a good decent meal….You are far more Lucky in their comparison….Think if you have to run like a mad Dog to catch a rabbit or a squirrel for your meal…! 🙂
    I am damn curious now …to know how you match up with your surroundings in desert…! Hmmm…You are a trickster…! 🙂

  18. MonaLisa,

    This is Alladdin in Alibaba’s den… No credits for guessing who is Alibaba and who is Alladdin!!! 🙂

  19. 😦 What’s the fun if there is no credit for guessing who is who…!?
    Well…! anyway…I gonna guess…right or wrong…! nothing to lose…lol

    Okk…! I believe…Alladin (in disguise)..is Alibaba…howzat…!? 🙂

    • 🙂 You win… Alladdin watches the fun through his dark sunglasses…and Alibaba sponsors the cha cha cha… 🙂

    • Oh, perhaps you meant Alibaba is disguised as Alladdin?

      Aaaaarrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh… 😦

      No, no, no. Alladdin is okay as a person. Perhaps with the wrong ideals. But still good at heart.

  20. 🙂 🙂 No matter what….I Win…!..Reader…!

  21. Remember what Bill said about Alladdin (or was it Brutus?)

    His life was gentle; and the elements
    So mixed in him, that Nature might stand up,
    And say to all the world, THIS WAS A MAN!

    —Bill Shakespeare in Julius Caeser

  22. Season of Diaries and Calenders.

    Tell me, why is it that the diary that I don’t like always has my name embossed on it? I can’t even give it away to someone else!!!!

  23. For all those who are interested in Cricket, save the following link on your desktop. Clever graphic design by someone really good at his job:

    http://www.cricbuzz.com/cricket-schedule/series/228/icc-world-cup-2011

  24. The law is an ass and its bailiffs like me are bigger asses.

    A few days ago I was asked why people are resigning. Before I could reply to that I got a missive today asking me to scale down some more just to meet some limit of a statistical index devised by a nerd in E&Y!

    Its a mad world, koi shaque?

  25. Anand Khare Says:

    @sharmila- I was at BG until 30th and then travelled to other places of interest. Tomorrow morning I shall be back to Delhi. I will be regular fm Wed.

    Anand

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