A sense of deja vu… by Pritish Nandy

One of the problems of being around on this planet for a while is that one begins to see most things in a slightly skewed perspective. You look back in time to context current events. The successes others around you are constantly exulting in do not impress you that much simply because you know tomorrow always comes, whether Garth Brooks wants it or not. No, it doesn’t mean one is a cynic or a disparager. It only means one learns from history. If we don’t, as the wit said, we are condemned to repeat our mistakes.

The climate around…Bangalore bytes… ( Part 5 )

It is that time when I descend into my favorite city, my home town of Bangalore. Also known as the silicon city of India and where silicon continues to spill continually on the never-ending construction zones of the ring roads. The ring roads are a fascinating part of Bangalore, the rings are not complete but we still call it one. It is crescent-shaped and will be a while before the complete loop is formed for it to look like a ring. The loop is largely stopped from completing because politicians own stretches of land on which the highway needs to be laid and they are reluctant to let it be acquired. A smooth, well laid out stretch on the outer ring road literally comes to an abrupt halt, the road just ends. If one is cannonballing along this stretch, he is bound to make the most perilous leap of his life. The self-centered actions of one politician Mr Roshan Baig who owns a farm in this vicinity is repulsive. The case now lies in the high court.

Its Amma’s day today…

 

Its Mothers day today. A day created by the West to annually remember that there is a Mother in their lives who needs to be showered with flowers and trinkets, only to move on with routine the day thereafter. The special show of love and honor diminishes after the day, Mother’s land in the category of being a burden at a speed faster than the time it takes to utter the word MOM. The ways of the western world continue to move to the other end of the spectrum, where love astonishingly has a price. Mother’s nanny the grand kids for a fee, children evaluate how much time to spend with their Mothers and ration it accordingly. After reaching a certain age, Mothers introspect their retirement plans so has not to burden their offspring’s and their offspring’s would not settle for anything less either. God bless those Mothers where the Government does not provide a pension.

Gratifyingly, by and large we Indians are a lot more considerate when it comes to our Mothers. Most times we Indians are on the other side of the spectrum. We love our Mothers, we suffocate them with our love, and we tie ourselves to their short leash and gallop around them like little puppies. Most sons of the Indian soil would settle for nothing less. We have one more peculiar habit when it comes to Mothers. We call even our non biological mothers “Amma”. One such Amma is Jayalalitha, the heavy weight and dominating force of Tamil Nadu.Today, I wish to praise this Mother, Mother superior on all counts. I write an open letter to J Jayalalitha, the Amma of Indian politics. With all my love, my tribute to this glorious Mother.

Vannakam Amma,

At the outset, I prostrate before you and seek your divine blessings. Until you bless my soft head with your equally soft, pristine, plump hands, I shall lie prostrate before you. I now rise after getting your blessings and begin my tribute to you.

Now that I have gotten up, I set my eyes on your colossal figure, wide as the mighty Colossus who once stood astride on the harbor at Rhodes, stretching from the east bank to the west. I wish I had the head of an owl to take in your entire breadth in one frame, such is your magnanimous structure that I seek nothing else than wish I were an owl. But, I lament that I am no Owl in the physical sense and gratified that I do have its intellectual capacity to worship you as my Amma.

You were born in 1948; a year after this great country acquired its freedom. Least did it suspect that the Dravidian belt confined to the area between Kanyakumari  to the plains of the Nilgiris would swell under your weight in the coming years. You danced with the late Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu  MG Ramachandran in those polka dot frocks and shimmering tops, you spent many hours pinning your weight on that one single man which ensured your entry, needless to say, in politics.

Like a mighty elephant you drove the late MG Ramachandran into submission. You graduated from a divine damsel to a dominant mistress. No one even recalls Janaki Ramachandran, MGR’s legal wife. You paled her into oblivion. It is but due to your beauty and sheer dynamism in the confines of Ramachandran’s chambers that you grew from strength to strength and you could not be controlled even by those strong Tamil mahouts who rode you.

Then there was one who was created, to test you every now and then. A grand old man, the one who wears his coolers in broad daylight. Does he wear it in order to keep the shimmer of your body from blinding him? Does he wear it to keep the opulence of your wealth from dazzling him? Does he wear it to ogle at you or your good friend Shashikala without your knowledge? If only he kept his mouth in a straight line, we could hear him talk more clearly his poetic praises of mighty you.

The most remarkable things that you and the great Karunanidhi did for Tamil Nadu were to open up Tamil Nadu to the skies. Year after year, the two of you launched channels after channels that belonged to you and your near and dear ones. Jaya TV, Kalainizhar TV, Sun TV, KTV, Udaya, Teja and so forth. I sincerely wish you launch more channels than Karunanidhi and beat him in this channel race. Maybe in your next term?

I recall the time when you ordered this old man Karunanidhi to be thrown in jail for his malicious actions and sanctions against you when he was in power. He was lifted from his bed by the police, his white dhoti dangled feebly when it was close to midnight and he was carried limply by the Tamil Nadu police. People who lived in remote parts of Tamil Nadu missed this endearing sight. This is precisely why Karunanidhi promised free TVs in his election campaign thereafter. Karunanidhi was not the only old man you ordered to be majestically carried away, there was another victim, the revered seer from the Kanchipuram mutt. Thank you for employing the police force wisely and increasing TRPs for the Tamil channels.

You continue to remove the burdens of the Tamil farmers and dairy farms. A program on TV showered praises of you for improving the rural economy. They stated that you take your daily bath in a humongous tub filled with milk and turmeric and you soap yourself with almond paste. The revenues for farming societies continue to sky rocket as more cows are milked to fill your tub just as more almonds and turmeric are grown to keep pace with your incessant demands. God bless you.

You killed a few hundred goats and few thousand hens to feed those who attended your foster son’s wedding. The hungry people who ate at the wedding feast burped and slurped and wagged their sambhar licking fingers to the skies. They accused God of not being as benevolent as you. You even revolted against the holy temple elephants and were responsible for their killing. You were kind enough to show the elephants the stairway to the heavens, you trampled them with your own weight. Do you hear goat’s bleat and elephant’s trumpet in your sleep or do you dream of the late MGR singing ba ba black sheep in his crackling voice?

You exemplified love and showcased what true friendship is about in your dealings with your good friend Shashikala. You adorned her and yourself with a thousand kilograms of gold. I shall not forget that beautiful gold belt that accentuated your waist and hers when your foster son got married. A marvelous sight indeed that lingers on.

Scam after scam and countless corruption charges have been levied against you. You have towered over them all valiantly. They call you Puratchi Thallaivi ( revolutionary leader ) for nothing. You have revolted against all cases. From TANSI to the flyover scams, you sat on the judge’s head (literally), crushed his bones and got rulings in your favor.

 You have increased the revenues for plastic surgeons in Chennai after every acid attack you have organized on your adversaries. This calls yet again for a celebration in your name. Shall we sacrifice more goats and hens?You have siezed vast acres of land and buildings across the state, you must only but surely be having plans to open charitable trusts at these places? God bless you again.

In Tamil Nadu, we can toss a coin to decide who will hold the reins of power. Almost every alternate election time, the scales tilt in your favor. You remain far heavier than your counterpart and many other known and unknown parts that this world has seen.I once again lie prostrate in front of you in conclusion. Long live Amma. Please bless your soft headed children of Tamil Nadu for having not much of a choice between you and that sinister old man with the dark coolers.

 

Three Moms..

 

Mamma

 

Maa

 

Amma

 

Mamma in Italian, Maa in hindi, Amma in tamil aka Sonia, Maya and Jaya.  These three women like to think they are the reigning mothers of this nation which in fact was birthed by a peaceful Father. So peaceful that he was not a recipient of the Nobel peace prize, a shame. But, the power of these three women clutching deep into the veins of our country never fails to bewilder me.

Lets start with Mamma Sonia of Gandhi fame , other than holding the all important qualification of belonging to the Nehru dynasty she has managed to propel herself into the heartland of Indian politics. She is the reigning de facto Queen who is holding the strings of the current Singh who is not King.  When a critical decision needs to be taken, no body in the party recollects that there is a Manmohan Singh and they all run crying to Mamma.  Tantrums range from “Mamma can we break up states?” “Mamma, can we get more money to buy guns and other toys?” and Mamma will decide. After the assassination of the erstwhile Rajiv Gandhi, Sonia took a back seat and vowed not to enter the domain of political mayhem. But in 1997 she joined the Congress party in order to revive the party’s sagging fortunes. Today Sonia controls every aspect of the party’s strategies and is at the helm of any decision that need to be taken at the cabinet level and is in the Times 100 most powerful people. It was alleged that the Italian Quattorocchi of Bofor’s scandal fame was her good friend and there is only a hush now.

Then there is Maa Maya who has made the economy of Uttar Pradesh a maya. Currently under investigation by the CBI who are quizzing her on the accumulation of her personal wealth. She has paid more tax than Mukesh Ambani in one assessment year and it is alleged that the tax money she paid was also not hers!It would be difficult to list the number of embezzlement cases and scams against her in this space, as there are far too many. Maa does possess an artistic trait in her, she enjoys building statues of herself and her mentor Kanshi Ram, obviously with the tax payers money. Maa’s current agenda is to break her state of UP into smaller bits in the geographical sense too.Maa does not prefer Mamma, but she could pass off as sister to Amma who is as notorious for corruption of the highest order.

Amma Jaya, metamorphosed from Queen of Tamil cinema to defacto Queen of the late MG Ramachandran and eventually to Queen of AIADMK and Tamil Nadu. She is not the reigning Queen as she was ousted by the DMK party in the last elections. In Tamil Nadu, one can toss a coin to figure out who will be CM, there are only two choices. Amma insists on grown up men and women falling at her feet failing which their heads would be on the chopping block. Amma’s wealth and scams are as staggering as Maa Maya’s. Despite this, she is Amma to her people in Tamil Nadu. Amma waits patiently for her turn to be CM.

So, we have three women who are powerful in their own rights. It is difficult for the common man to evaluate who is more corrupt, as some scandals have been exposed and some would never see the light of day. But the three remain unscathed, unaffected and grow from strength to strength. Lets take a poll – Who is the better Mommy?